Worst day ever

[Bankbeauty]

So basically you're saying that because you're a decent human being and you got beaten that makes it alright? What about all the people that don't? That's extremely narrow minded. And as I stated earlier, people who beat their children usually sort to it as a last resort / don't know what else to do. If what you describe is correct then it would seem that your parents lacked other lacked surplus(not sure if that's the correct word, translator is bad mmkay) and that resulted in you being short lined. Having depressive and drug/alcohol addicted parents can resort in bad parenthood as well (not always though). You obviously TL/DR since you state the whole 14 year old girl shit. It's totally beside the point. I'm not saying you should go hippie/laissez faire upbringing. If you're not going to bother reading what is said then please stay out of this. I'm not interested in a one way discussion with someone that doesn't even bother reading the opposing opinions post.

Boiled down for your needs, what I said was: Raise children with emotions and not physically.







Well America / EU have different cultures, and that being that I still think it's wrong hitting someone just because you "own" them. You brought them into this world yes, but children are a privilege, not a freaking right. It's like driving a car - privilege, not a right. That's what people don't seem to understand these days. And if you're allowed to spank/hit/beat your child and what not, who is to draw the line? That's always been the problem in so many countries which always led it to be easier to just disallow all together. And in regards to your movie any other points regarding "look what an idiot that child is, beat the shit out of him" oh my gosh:



YOU HONESTLY THINK THAT BABIES ARE BORN TO BE ANNOYING HARMFUL EVIL BRADS?

If you do then god(hypothetically) help you. We are all a product of our environment. Surroundings effect us. Obviously we all come to the world with different personalities and levels of different things such as how much aggravation we can take etc. But that's an whole other subject.



Basically, be loving understanding - boundary setting, firm parents. I'm not a parent. But start reading about parenting without child abuse / violence, watch some tv shows that show different ways of "training" your children. Treats works really well at younger ages.



Now, BB, there's a wall of text for you



Best regards,

You have your point of view, I have mine. My parents weren't bad parents. The fact that there's an history of drug/alcohol/depression doesn't make them any bad parents. Did they lacked any parental shit, Nope. They didn't.



You were born in europe and have the european style. You clearly overwhelm and overstate BEATING. What we mean by beating isn't Baseball-Batting kid, it's about a freaking slap on the butt. Did it kill anybody nope. I never heard any report stating that butt slaping (Correctly used) Or other correctly used method were bad. Obviously if you slap the kid until he bleeds you're a ****ing retard.



Anyway, there's no way we'll ever find an end to this. You have your way of thinking and I have mine.



There was, not so long ago, a huge thing here in Quebec about this. Where several psy and kid-helper spoke about the issue related to violence. They ended up saying that the abusive use of violence is indeed punishable. On the other giving a little slap on the butt to your kids wasn't.

 

[Quelfep]

not sure if you saw but a spank on the bottom is not a beating.

 

[Druiddroid]

Hitting will always be a last resort in civilized cultures.

Only a sith deals in absolutes.

 

[Bankbeauty]

Hitting will always be a last resort in civilized cultures. How hitting your children are viewed might be more/less accepted depending on culture - which was my point. Also, I didn't know it was still legal over there - someone wrote in a previous post. That kind of surprised me. You sure about this? Maybe in Texas I guess...

You're either trolling or being a straight ****ing plain dumb shit.



It's still legal, here, in the whole damn mother****ing Canada. ****ing 30 Millions Resident. To give a slap to your kid if it's not used abusively or that you used more strenght then needed. If you slap your kid and the kid die from inside bleeding, you went a lil to hard and it's illegal.



You act like you were superior stating that parents that beat child have lack of ability or shit like that. Well, guess not. Let's not start on that, but you guys created some of the most craziest people on earth, without acting violent (like you love to state)

 

[Painaid]

Hitting will always be a last resort in civilized cultures.

This made me giggle. I guess Americans and Canadians are backwards people stuck in the medieval ages for occasionally hitting our children when they act up.

People who beat their child do it due to lack of other options, not knowing how else to deal with the situations.

That's not really true. No one here is saying it's okay to BEAT a child. So by even framing the argument with that word immediately sets this debate on the wrong footing. A good spanking or slap on the arm is not beating. No one is condoning the beating of any child.



People do it because it's proven to work. Kids are kids. You cannot reason with them like you can an adult. In this sense, it is you who is making the fallacy of thinking children are like small adults. They still have developing minds. They do not have a full sense of what is best for them. They cannot be reasoned with in the same capacity as another full-grown adult can.



All kids have their moments. None of them are golden little angels, no matter what kind of environment you set them in. There is a reason why every little kid's favorite word to say when they're little is 'No'. There is a reason why kids learn, at a very young age, to lie. And it requires stern discipline to set a child right and teach him proper attitude and manners.



"Love" as you put it, and reasoning with the child, do not solve basic problems of your child acting up, showing horrible behavior, or acting up horribly. You're taking the easy way out by not giving proper discipline because you're afraid to make your child mad or upset them even though it will help them in the long run. It's called tough love and it's much more effective than constantly babying your child.



I have a 2 year old nephew. Right now he's going through an epidemic of wanting to hit other kids. So what do I do when he does? I slap him back on the wrist and sternly say, "No." You can't reason with him, you can't just kindly say, "No, no, we don't do that." There is no message there. What I did sends a physical/stern message that he understands and I'm not "beating" him either.



Basically put: I don't expect kids to understand why they are being disciplined every time. They're kids. They don't see the big picture like parents do. But if they still stop the bad behavior for fear of being spanked, then it's still successful. And when they get older, they'll look back and understand why. And they'll be a better person for it.

 

[Sanit]

I don't know if this has been posted yet, but surely you have a warranty?

i said that, and what Painaid said about losing WoW qualifying shit as the worst day of your life etc etc.



HOWEVER, these nerds wanted to attempt to call me out for being a big meany jerk face that doesnt like curely instead of actually reading what i said. oh well

 

[Painaid]

i said that, and what Painaid said about losing WoW qualifying shit as the worst day of your life etc etc.



HOWEVER, these nerds wanted to attempt to call me out for being a big meany jerk face that doesnt like curely instead of actually reading what i said. oh well

Lol, doesn't matter who it is. Getting spanked and having your computer taken away, then coming on here on your brother's iPod to whine about it is funny no matter what. Just further goes to show the discipline was probably well-warranted. I'd like to know what it is he did to cause it, though I can probably guess well enough.

 

[Sanit]

Lol, doesn't matter who it is. Getting spanked and having your computer taken away, then coming on here on your brother's iPod to whine about it is funny no matter what. Just further goes to show the discipline was probably well-warranted. I'd like to know what it is he did to cause it, though I can probably guess well enough.

so i'm not the only one that realizes the hilarity in this



edit: dumb spelling is dumb

 

[Druiddroid]

so i'm not the only one that realizes the hilarity in this



edit: dumb spelling is dumb

I'm pretty sure me Falkor and Goma are with you as well on this



Also I like how one person says beating children is something an "unevolved parasite" would do, and another says only in an "uncivilized culture" would beating children happen. Am I getting the sense of stereotyping?

 

[Quelfep]

no .

 

[Druiddroid]

no .

f u

 

[Painaid]

I miss your stolen pony sig

 

[Quelfep]

f u

wooooooooooooah clam

 

[Druiddroid]

wooooooooooooah clam

w h a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a t

 

[Druiddroid]

I miss your stolen pony sig

That girl will need a spanking sometime but will probably end up becoming a gold digger instead

 

[augiddin]

Doesn't the fact that you are still going around your parent posting here just validate everything they did? Ask yourself this, If your parents didn't care would you sit around and play wow all day?

 

[Falkor]

This made me giggle. I guess Americans and Canadians are backwards people stuck in the medieval ages for occasionally hitting our children when they act up.





That's not really true. No one here is saying it's okay to BEAT a child. So by even framing the argument with that word immediately sets this debate on the wrong footing. A good spanking or slap on the arm is not beating. No one is condoning the beating of any child.



People do it because it's proven to work. Kids are kids. You cannot reason with them like you can an adult. In this sense, it is you who is making the fallacy of thinking children are like small adults. They still have developing minds. They do not have a full sense of what is best for them. They cannot be reasoned with in the same capacity as another full-grown adult can.



All kids have their moments. None of them are golden little angels, no matter what kind of environment you set them in. There is a reason why every little kid's favorite word to say when they're little is 'No'. There is a reason why kids learn, at a very young age, to lie. And it requires stern discipline to set a child right and teach him proper attitude and manners.



"Love" as you put it, and reasoning with the child, do not solve basic problems of your child acting up, showing horrible behavior, or acting up horribly. You're taking the easy way out by not giving proper discipline because you're afraid to make your child mad or upset them even though it will help them in the long run. It's called tough love and it's much more effective than constantly babying your child.



I have a 2 year old nephew. Right now he's going through an epidemic of wanting to hit other kids. So what do I do when he does? I slap him back on the wrist and sternly say, "No." You can't reason with him, you can't just kindly say, "No, no, we don't do that." There is no message there. What I did sends a physical/stern message that he understands and I'm not "beating" him either.



Basically put: I don't expect kids to understand why they are being disciplined every time. They're kids. They don't see the big picture like parents do. But if they still stop the bad behavior for fear of being spanked, then it's still successful. And when they get older, they'll look back and understand why. And they'll be a better person for it.

Lol, doesn't matter who it is. Getting spanked and having your computer taken away, then coming on here on your brother's iPod to whine about it is funny no matter what. Just further goes to show the discipline was probably well-warranted. I'd like to know what it is he did to cause it, though I can probably guess well enough.

this man knows whats up

 

[lindenkron]

This made me giggle. I guess Americans and Canadians are backwards people stuck in the medieval ages for occasionally hitting our children when they act up.

No, that's the problem. We supposedly live in a world of knowledge, yet we're resorting to a form of discipline that - at least over here, was last truly seen in the 50s. We've been raising our children for the last 15 years without hitting them being legal - yet this generation seems to do just fine, hell has not raised yet.

That's not really true. No one here is saying it's okay to BEAT a child. So by even framing the argument with that word immediately sets this debate on the wrong footing. A good spanking or slap on the arm is not beating. No one is condoning the beating of any child.

Call a bad choice of word, we all know what we're talking about. I'm not English nor American.

People do it because it's proven to work. Kids are kids. You cannot reason with them like you can an adult. In this sense, it is you who is making the fallacy of thinking children are like small adults. They still have developing minds. They do not have a full sense of what is best for them. They cannot be reasoned with in the same capacity as another full-grown adult can.

Read my last statement in my last post. You can reason with them, just like you can reason with cats and dogs. Just because you can't communicate with them it doesn't mean you can't train them. This is just a bad excuse for doing it the right way.

All kids have their moments. None of them are golden little angels, no matter what kind of environment you set them in. There is a reason why every little kid's favorite word to say when they're little is 'No'. There is a reason why kids learn, at a very young age, to lie. And it requires stern discipline to set a child right and teach him proper attitude and manners.

Exactly, not all children at angels, but as I stated earlier we're all a product of our environment. And my favourite word wasn't 'no', sorry to burst your bubble. Maybe American children's favourite word is no, I don't know. Could it be because you spank them? And I didn't learn to lie - most people I know / associate with didn't learn to lie when they were little / growing up - on the contrary we were taught by our parents that we can come to them with anything if we ever have any problems and that they will love us regardless of what we do or what we become. That sure they can be disappointed in us, which is the motivation not to **** up, but they will never stop loving us.



There's a natural tie between parents and their child from a very young age. Making your parents sad is never something your child wishes to do (depending on age they can be more or less aware of it).

"Love" as you put it, and reasoning with the child, do not solve basic problems of your child acting up, showing horrible behavior, or acting up horribly. You're taking the easy way out by not giving proper discipline because you're afraid to make your child mad or upset them even though it will help them in the long run. It's called tough love and it's much more effective than constantly babying your child.

There are other raising methods than spanking your child for 1 minute then walking out. THAT my friend, is the easy way out. It takes no time, it takes no effort.

I have a 2 year old nephew. Right now he's going through an epidemic of wanting to hit other kids. So what do I do when he does? I slap him back on the wrist and sternly say, "No." You can't reason with him, you can't just kindly say, "No, no, we don't do that." There is no message there. What I did sends a physical/stern message that he understands and I'm not "beating" him either.

A kid in my class when going through, what you guys would refer to as high school(age 6-15), spend his entire time being a mean ass bully. Randomly beating others with books or school bags. Never knowing where you had him. I never understood why, because it made no sense to me seeing as he could be a sensible person at times.



I later found out from my parents, that the school suspected he was being beaten/disciplined or what ever you want to call it, at home. So the way he got rid of that rage was by hitting/beating other children. His parents had some problems that they couldn't deal with apparently - not that us kids were ever told or were the wiser.



Violence will always breed violence.

Basically put: I don't expect kids to understand why they are being disciplined every time. They're kids. They don't see the big picture like parents do. But if they still stop the bad behavior for fear of being spanked, then it's still successful. And when they get older, they'll look back and understand why. And they'll be a better person for it.

Exactly, they don't see the big picture. So when you start hitting/beating/spanking - what ever you want to call the pain you inflict on them, they don't understand why, other than the person they love and trust is doing something awful to them. I've grown older and I still don't understand why it was necessary seeing as I've never been an awful child. But I now, growing up, realise that my dad had some patience issues and (without getting into my family situation and history) my house hold wasn't all handy dandy as a child sees it.



Basically put: You only hit your child because it's easier - it's the simple way of doing it. Everyone in the world knows how to overpower someone who is smaller than themselves. That's why it's always been the preferred method of parenting.



I guess you could say I prefer the Bill Cosby way. (with a grain of salt).



Best regards,



Edit: This is not really a discussion I wish to go any further into, seeing as we're never going to agree on this matter - we might as well try and get the republicans and democrats to agree. So I think you should just reply to this and then we'll say we agree to disagree since I don't wish to spend any more of my time replying to this subject

 

[Enno]

can we haz parenting forum?

 

[Falkor]

linde. lying is a natural human thing to do, instinctual really, and children do learn to lie early and are constantly testing the bounds of what they can get away with. if youve ever taken a psych class you'd know that. and no, kids dont say no b/c they get spanked...they say no b/c they want to do what they want, when they want, even if its not the right thing to do at the time



also...no, you cant reason with them. really. again, if youve taken psych youd know the stages of development children go through and their brains simply arent developed enough to grasp higher reasoning. using treats is not reasoning, be it with an animal or a child - i think its hilarious you consider conditioning like that reasoning tbh...its baiting them. which you can do to help train them, another psych technique, but that is NOT reasoning with them. all they'll come to do is learn if they do X they get a reward, if they dont they what, get yelled at? no youre FAR too civilized for that. will they get a slap on the ass? NOPE too civilized again. so you try to reason with them. and they might even acquiesce, but they wont really understand even if you explain till you're blue in the face. another reason why most children go through the "why...why...why" phase. so then youve just raised a kid who looks for rewards for doing what he should have learned is the right thing to do naturally. congrats, now you have a spoiled bitch who will throw a hissy fit when he doesnt get his/her way. good job hippie dad!





and furthermore, the reason why this should end is b/c you cant grasp the fundamental definition of what a spanking is in america. you said you were hit as a child, well i hope you got the shit kicked out of you and not just a slap on the wrist, b/c you associate a spanking with child abuse. so you are either grossly mistranslating what we're trying to say, or youre parents said you were getting a spanking and beat the tar out of you. either way something is being lost in translation

a spanking by most peoples standards is NOT child abuse. there are no bruises, no bleeding, maybe a red mark for a few minutes at worst. so for minimal physical harm (which, btw, does not shake the confidence or love of parent in the child, ask anyone who has been spanked here - you might resent them for 5 mins b/c you still an ignorant shit of a child who just got punished, but when you grown up and look back on it you can actually grasp what and why it happened and understand you're a better person for being set on the straight path....and if you never came full circle i feel bad for you linde, cuz that means youre either ignorant/ignoring what you did or your parnets truly beat you for no reason and offered no explination as to why they did it) you send home the point that the child has misbehaved and they need to change. and again about the lazniess....for the most part spanking is for a serious misstep to really let the child (whom you cant reason with) know that they ****ed up big time and they should change their ways. if a parent was to hit their kid for the smallest reason then yea, its lazy and potentially child abuse, but when used correctly it can be another powerful tool in the child rearing arsenal. you dont do it just b/c its the simple way out.