I've only been back perusing the site for a few months after being away for about 8 years so I have limited perspective, but back when I was running this site (or TI to be specific) it was way worse from my perspective. I think the twink community has matured a bit...and that's probably because the average age has gone up if I had my guess.
Any online community where you're taking a block of text and trying to interpret someone's intention, tone, body language, etc. is going to lead to some villainizing or misinterpretation (on top of the clear-cut conflicts that exist from time to time). Have you been on FB recently? Lol
If you'll allow me to spout some genuine, heart-felt feedback: The best thing for you to do OP, is to take the new self-awareness you have and be the person you hope to encounter on these forums. If you just devolved into douchebaggery it won't get better.
Cheers!
-Ink