Audiofreak
OG
Insensitive arseholes, please don't read any further.
So...
Recently, a girl I was "with" (not bf/gf, just the physical side for me) asked me if any one had ever "broken my heart". I responded instinctively, "nope"...
Today I was just browsing through facebook when I came across a post from a girl I was "with" much earlier last year. We'll call her Megan, for the post's sake. Anyway, Megan was a 5' 7", blonde, drop-dead-gorgeous actress/model, with a personality that topped even her looks. I remember the first time I actually had to stop myself from calling her, because I thought calling for a third time in a day (she hadn't answered the first 2 calls placed much earlier in the day) would be too much. Normally I'm one of those people that "forgets" to call and avoids girls that show any considerable signs of affection.
Ok, on that note, I'm going to have to reveal a little of my history. I entered the "game" very early on, and have been traveling quite a lot of my life, leaving me with an accent, which seems to help a lot in regards to the opposite sex. I also held a strong philosophy that one does not need a partner until much later on in life, and should enjoy oneself before one must settle down. Let us just say that I've enjoyed myself a lot...
I've done better looking girls than Megan. I've done kinder and more intellectual girls too...and sure, Megan did have her own style that appealed a lot to me, and differed from American girls completely, but not enough to cause any of this bollocks I'm about to present to you.
Call me John Smith. "Does John Smith actually have a heart!?" is what people would say that know me if they read this, I think.
As I was looking through her photos on facebook, which were relevant to the post (as appose to tasteless lurking) I started to feel feelings I've never felt before and they made me feel almost angry.
IT HURTS! WHAT IS IT!?
...and then I saw she was still in a relationship with a guy I'll mention soon enough. Normally, no matter how much "fun" I had with the girl, or however into her I was, I am never bothered by her being with someone else or anything at all...but this legitimately bothered me...
We stopped being "with" each other because we were both very busy people and it just wouldn't have worked out, or so she said. I remember thinking "Megan, why can't we just have fun when we can, and the rest of the time, don't worry about it". Well, what she was really on was the cock of this arsehole, who I'll refer to as Shitface, very soon after. We didn't speak much, just because I didn't want to. She wasn't exactly on my mind at all. I moved continents, and Megan moved to London with Shitface.
All-in-all, these feelings are really bugging me. I just want them gone. Any ideas? It has been almost a year since I've seen her.
It could possible be that the girl I'm "with" looks somewhat like Megan. I don't know... All I do know is I want these funny little feelings out of my system.
Some genuine help, from a female or male, would be very much appreciated.
Thanks for letting me let that out,
~Audiofreak
