General how to cook the chicken

Skeezin

Skeezin

Legend
*+*+HOW TO COOK THE CHICKEN
BY MYSELF SKEEZIN+*+*


​
hello ladies and gentlemen and thank you for stopping by, today i am going to teach you how to cook a chicken, not any ordinary chicken, but the chicken

the chicken in question
BundtPanRoastChicken_01_mini.jpg

this here is the finished product, the cooked chicken, aim for something similar to this but it most likely wont look, taste or smell as good as this specimen on your very first try but remember to never give up and strive for perfection!

​
what you will need
  • the chicken obviously
  • some stuff to make the chicken taste real good
  • a pair of hands
  • a pair of oven gloves to put on those hands
  • a baking tray
  • an oven to put the baking tray in
  • a clean surface to work your magic with the bird and get it ready for the oven
  • a plate
!!! REMEMBER TO WASH YOUR HANDS BEFORE TOUCHING THE CHICKEN TO AVOID ANY POSSIBLE CONTAMINATION TO THE BIRD !!!

instructions
  1. imagine the baking tray as the face of a clock, point the chicken at exactly 7 o'clock (this method yields the best results)
  2. slowly run your tongue down the length of the bird and stop before you reach what i like to refer to as the "stink hole"
  3. carefully massage the breast in circular movements 2-3 times for approximately 45 seconds at a time - avoid excessive pressure
  4. take your other ingredients - i personally use honey because it gives the bird a great shiny look and makes it look a million dollars - evenly spread it across the body and then proceed to work it into the cracks with the use of your palms and thumbs if necessary
  5. switch the oven on by turning the knob 180 degrees clockwise, make sure it is exactly that or the chicken may burn and nobody wants a black bird that will taste like chimney
  6. squeeze the chicken into the oven, which should be sat firmly on the center of the baking tray, on the top shelf
  7. make sure the oven door is sealed shut and now it is time to let the magic of the oven run its course and all you can really do now is wait
  8. wait a little bit
  9. wait a little longer
  10. look inside the oven through the window and gaze endlessly at the chicken that you have prepared single handedly and is almost ready to be eaten
  11. equip yourself with oven gloves and proceed to open the door
  12. lean inside and pull the bird out very carefully by its legs and give it a sniff and a lick to evaluate if it has been cooked thoroughly - if it is not to your standard cook for an additional 5 minutes
  13. place the bird on a plate, preferably clean, which is now ready to be served and enjoyed by you and anyone else who may happen to enjoy the chicken

closing words
the best advice i have to offer is that you should never underestimate the chicken youre working with and always remember to show respect to the animal that has been slaughtered to be able to provide you with that delicious chicken you have in front of you

shouts out to all my young chefs keep it cooking





P.S. for any of you haters out there who might try and question the legitimacy of my in depth cooking knowledge this is for you

back to the kitchen b*tch!
qldtOSB.png


​
may the oven be ever in your favor​
 
Last edited:
Skeezin said:
how to cook the chicken by myself skeezin
​
hello ladies and gentlemen and thank you for stopping by, today i am going to teach you how to cook a chicken, not any ordinary chicken, but the chicken

the chicken in question
5567610488301.jpg

this here is the finished product, the cooked chicken, aim for something similar to this but it most likely wont look, taste or smell as good as this specimen on your very first try but remember to never give up and strive for perfection!


what you will need​
  • the chicken obviously
  • some stuff to make the chicken taste real good
  • a pair of hands
  • a pair of oven gloves to put on those hands
  • a baking tray
  • an oven to put the baking tray in
  • a clean surface to work your magic with the bird and get it ready for the oven
  • a plate
!!! REMEMBER TO WASH YOUR HANDS BEFORE TOUCHING THE CHICKEN TO AVOID ANY POSSIBLE CONTAMINATION TO THE BIRD !!!

instructions
  1. imagine the baking tray as the face of a clock, point the chicken at exactly 7 o'clock (this method yields the best results)
  2. slowly run your tongue down the length of the bird and stop before you reach what i like to refer to as the "stink hole"
  3. carefully massage the breast in circular movements 2-3 times for approximately 45 seconds at a time - avoid excessive pressure
  4. take your other ingredients - i personally use honey because it gives the bird a great shiny look and makes it look a million dollars - evenly spread it across the body and then proceed to work it into the cracks with the use of your palms and thumbs if necessary
  5. switch the oven on by turning the knob 180 degrees clockwise, make sure it is exactly that or the chicken may burn and nobody wants a black bird that will taste like chimney
  6. squeeze the chicken into the oven, which should be sat firmly on the center of the baking tray, on the top shelf
  7. make sure the oven door is sealed shut and now it is time to let the magic of the oven run its course and all you can really do now is wait
  8. wait a little bit
  9. wait a little longer
  10. look inside the oven through the window and gaze endlessly at the chicken that you have prepared single handedly and is almost ready to be eaten
  11. equip yourself with open gloves and proceed to open the door
  12. lean inside and pull the bird out very carefully by its legs and give it a sniff and a lick to evaluate if it has been cooked thoroughly - if it is not to your standard cook for an additional 5 minutes
  13. place the bird on a plate, preferably clean, which is now ready to be served and enjoyed by you and anyone else who may happen to enjoy the chicken


i hope this guide helped!




may the oven be ever in your favor,
skeezin


P.S. for any of you haters out there who might try and question the legitimacy of my in depth cooking knowledge this is for you
S8WL5w9.png
​
Click to expand...
i'm just glad there are no "drumsticks" involved
 
After cooking my chicken with this method I have found much more enjoyment in my life. Thanks to this guide I can now live my life to the maximum, thank you Skeezin for this, I am forever grateful.
 
Skeezin said:
*+*+HOW TO COOK THE CHICKEN
BY MYSELF SKEEZIN+*+*


​
hello ladies and gentlemen and thank you for stopping by, today i am going to teach you how to cook a chicken, not any ordinary chicken, but the chicken

the chicken in question
BundtPanRoastChicken_01_mini.jpg

this here is the finished product, the cooked chicken, aim for something similar to this but it most likely wont look, taste or smell as good as this specimen on your very first try but remember to never give up and strive for perfection!

​
what you will need
  • the chicken obviously
  • some stuff to make the chicken taste real good
  • a pair of hands
  • a pair of oven gloves to put on those hands
  • a baking tray
  • an oven to put the baking tray in
  • a clean surface to work your magic with the bird and get it ready for the oven
  • a plate
!!! REMEMBER TO WASH YOUR HANDS BEFORE TOUCHING THE CHICKEN TO AVOID ANY POSSIBLE CONTAMINATION TO THE BIRD !!!

instructions
  1. imagine the baking tray as the face of a clock, point the chicken at exactly 7 o'clock (this method yields the best results)
  2. slowly run your tongue down the length of the bird and stop before you reach what i like to refer to as the "stink hole"
  3. carefully massage the breast in circular movements 2-3 times for approximately 45 seconds at a time - avoid excessive pressure
  4. take your other ingredients - i personally use honey because it gives the bird a great shiny look and makes it look a million dollars - evenly spread it across the body and then proceed to work it into the cracks with the use of your palms and thumbs if necessary
  5. switch the oven on by turning the knob 180 degrees clockwise, make sure it is exactly that or the chicken may burn and nobody wants a black bird that will taste like chimney
  6. squeeze the chicken into the oven, which should be sat firmly on the center of the baking tray, on the top shelf
  7. make sure the oven door is sealed shut and now it is time to let the magic of the oven run its course and all you can really do now is wait
  8. wait a little bit
  9. wait a little longer
  10. look inside the oven through the window and gaze endlessly at the chicken that you have prepared single handedly and is almost ready to be eaten
  11. equip yourself with oven gloves and proceed to open the door
  12. lean inside and pull the bird out very carefully by its legs and give it a sniff and a lick to evaluate if it has been cooked thoroughly - if it is not to your standard cook for an additional 5 minutes
  13. place the bird on a plate, preferably clean, which is now ready to be served and enjoyed by you and anyone else who may happen to enjoy the chicken

closing words
the best advice i have to offer is that you should never underestimate the chicken youre working with and always remember to show respect to the animal that has been slaughtered to be able to provide you with that delicious chicken you have in front of you

shouts out to all my young chefs keep it cooking





P.S. for any of you haters out there who might try and question the legitimacy of my in depth cooking knowledge this is for you

back to the kitchen b*tch!
qldtOSB.png


​
may the oven be ever in your favor​
Click to expand...

@Skeezin YOUR CHICKEN WAS YUMMY !
 
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