Feeling stuck in my 20's
- Thread starter handsomedgc
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Nkopala
<Starter>
From my point of view there is no work or any work that is worthy of being mentioned, only the fact of doing things right, being upright, humble, loving, just and good, the enemy of lewdness and bad acting. Now if you want to undertake to practice these things I do not recommend you to look into the ethics and philosophical morals of society because both are flexible so they are not really straight what promotes so many wars around the world.
There is no law against these things, so you will be fine and find peace of mind.
Epichealtime
Legend
Nurture some passions. Even if they don't turn into a fulfilling career it will give you something to fall back onto after a particularly trying day. If you find yourself feeling stagnant set a small goal each day. Those small goals turn into habits faster than you would think. As people have said, comparing yourself to others can be counterproductive. You often see their best moments while dwelling on your own low points. Everyone moves at a different pace. Everyone judges success in a different manner. If you want to discuss further about your particular situation feel free to send a message.
@Hashbrowns INFP-A
@Hashbrowns INFP-A
Kirise
OG
When we say "you're so young" and "don't compare yourself", we're actually saying you're absolutely valid to feel the way you do, and don't sweat the negative feelings. It's part of the process, and you're bold to acknowledge the truth in them. Gearing up in the 20s bracket works way differently than gearing up in the teens bracket -- we're playing in a new bracket. It will change again when you gear up in the 30s and again in the 40s bracket.
My second semester of college made me despair. I had my first programming class in my computer science major, and discovered that I hated programming, and wasn't particularly good at it, either. It was the only major I was interested in, and I was sure I was screwed for college. But, I loved my lab assistant job helping others with the lab computers. Long story short, that job kept me going through the four years of college. I took awesome non-major classes, alongside terrible classes inside my major, and got through college with a passing GPA. When I went after jobs, nobody cared about my GPA, and everyone was interested in my lab experience. I took a twisted path that eventually landed me a great job at a university doing the IT work I wanted to do.
Class content isn't that important in college. The real impact comes from the people you meet. You'll meet awesome professors, and you'll meet total turds. You'll meet really cool classmates, and you'll meet the asses that dump all the groupwork on their teammates. Likewise, you'll discover parts of yourself that are amazing, and parts that are full two-cheeker ass. College offers the chance to figure out how to team up with the best and work around the worst in both others and ourselves.
You'll read about all the awesome things us twinkers do here. And we do. You won't read about our drug problems, our divorces, or all the other ways we suffer. And we do suffer. That's part of why everyone says not to compare yourself with others -- it's not about being better or worse, but rather about understanding that you may not have the whole picture, and that's especially true (by design) on social media.
People might say you gotta man up, and get your discipline locked in, and other powerful-sounding invectives that are meant to inspire. That does work for some people, but never did me any good. For me, motivation is garbage. Motivation doesn't work for me. When I get stuck, I need something else to put me into action.
Tell me something has a very low likelihood of happening, and I get interested. Tell me nobody gears a twink for a bracket that doesn't exist, and I'll spend months working on a 49 (six weeks until it's completed!). Tell me that I gotta work out all the time and eat like a bird to get an awesome body, and I'll find out that's not true. Tell me only the lucky can save and earn enough money to reach financial independence, and I'll figure out how to game personal finance for better results. Tell me that most people would rather die than speak in front of people, and then I get interested in how I can change.
I had to figure out what moved me to action, and only then was I able to start discovering what I wanted, and achieve it. I recently didn't get back in shape until my brother started working out, because me falling behind him was unacceptable. We have a great coopetition to keep us both going. Find out what moves you to action.
As for our 20s being our "best years", I figure that varies by person. I hated a good portion of my 20s. I hated feeling so scared and ignorant in a world where everyone else seemed to have everything figured out. Only in my 30s did I find out a lot people felt as scared and ignorant as I did. Now I'm well into my 40s, and life keeps getting better.
There will always people who figure stuff out way before we do, and there will always be people who never figure stuff out. I think that's the best kind of comparison. Learn from people who made different decisions than we did, for better or for worse. My 20s were full of mistakes, and thank goodness for it. It was the only way I was able to get to my 30s and beyond, because at the time, I couldn't tell which of my choices were mistakes.
People say don't compare, but I compare all the time. I find a lot of value in it. When someone has something I don't, that prompts me to ask what it took to get it, and whether that would be worth it to me. I'm halfway through my life and I've never owned a house. Turns out from both a personal logistics and financial standpoint, I made a great decision. Ten years ago, my brother bought a house. From both a personal logistics and financial standpoint, that also was a great decision. Context matters.
TL;DR: Be good to yourself, and figure out what moves you to action, even when it's not the same as others. That's how you can twinker your 20s.
My second semester of college made me despair. I had my first programming class in my computer science major, and discovered that I hated programming, and wasn't particularly good at it, either. It was the only major I was interested in, and I was sure I was screwed for college. But, I loved my lab assistant job helping others with the lab computers. Long story short, that job kept me going through the four years of college. I took awesome non-major classes, alongside terrible classes inside my major, and got through college with a passing GPA. When I went after jobs, nobody cared about my GPA, and everyone was interested in my lab experience. I took a twisted path that eventually landed me a great job at a university doing the IT work I wanted to do.
Class content isn't that important in college. The real impact comes from the people you meet. You'll meet awesome professors, and you'll meet total turds. You'll meet really cool classmates, and you'll meet the asses that dump all the groupwork on their teammates. Likewise, you'll discover parts of yourself that are amazing, and parts that are full two-cheeker ass. College offers the chance to figure out how to team up with the best and work around the worst in both others and ourselves.
You'll read about all the awesome things us twinkers do here. And we do. You won't read about our drug problems, our divorces, or all the other ways we suffer. And we do suffer. That's part of why everyone says not to compare yourself with others -- it's not about being better or worse, but rather about understanding that you may not have the whole picture, and that's especially true (by design) on social media.
People might say you gotta man up, and get your discipline locked in, and other powerful-sounding invectives that are meant to inspire. That does work for some people, but never did me any good. For me, motivation is garbage. Motivation doesn't work for me. When I get stuck, I need something else to put me into action.
Tell me something has a very low likelihood of happening, and I get interested. Tell me nobody gears a twink for a bracket that doesn't exist, and I'll spend months working on a 49 (six weeks until it's completed!). Tell me that I gotta work out all the time and eat like a bird to get an awesome body, and I'll find out that's not true. Tell me only the lucky can save and earn enough money to reach financial independence, and I'll figure out how to game personal finance for better results. Tell me that most people would rather die than speak in front of people, and then I get interested in how I can change.
I had to figure out what moved me to action, and only then was I able to start discovering what I wanted, and achieve it. I recently didn't get back in shape until my brother started working out, because me falling behind him was unacceptable. We have a great coopetition to keep us both going. Find out what moves you to action.
As for our 20s being our "best years", I figure that varies by person. I hated a good portion of my 20s. I hated feeling so scared and ignorant in a world where everyone else seemed to have everything figured out. Only in my 30s did I find out a lot people felt as scared and ignorant as I did. Now I'm well into my 40s, and life keeps getting better.
There will always people who figure stuff out way before we do, and there will always be people who never figure stuff out. I think that's the best kind of comparison. Learn from people who made different decisions than we did, for better or for worse. My 20s were full of mistakes, and thank goodness for it. It was the only way I was able to get to my 30s and beyond, because at the time, I couldn't tell which of my choices were mistakes.
People say don't compare, but I compare all the time. I find a lot of value in it. When someone has something I don't, that prompts me to ask what it took to get it, and whether that would be worth it to me. I'm halfway through my life and I've never owned a house. Turns out from both a personal logistics and financial standpoint, I made a great decision. Ten years ago, my brother bought a house. From both a personal logistics and financial standpoint, that also was a great decision. Context matters.
TL;DR: Be good to yourself, and figure out what moves you to action, even when it's not the same as others. That's how you can twinker your 20s.
iaccidentallytwink
Guild Master
I haven't read through most of the replies but have read the OP. I'm 27, I dropped out of high school and after 1 semester of University. I split up with my 7 year GF in 2019 and then we both felt directionless for a while (she still does).
I'm an "optimistic" nihilist in that I don't think that there's any point worrying about something you have to be doing. The only real worry should be to be able to live a comfortable life in the future. As long as you have that, you have the freedom to do anything you want.
I'm an "optimistic" nihilist in that I don't think that there's any point worrying about something you have to be doing. The only real worry should be to be able to live a comfortable life in the future. As long as you have that, you have the freedom to do anything you want.