Im probably the best person my age, I was like the coolest kid in school and was proper good at everything. No one messed with me coz they knew i'd punch them in the head, giving them blood problems. I left school the hardest person and when i went out with the lads in Town i was nuts, i used to down full pints, and fiddle with pool balls when people were trying to play pool. But then i got grounded by my mum for totally going nuts and ruining christmas by kicking my sisters present into a wall, so hard it nearly broke it. So now im thinking of running away, because im a big man. I would probably join the army and be promoted to chief major or something high like that, and win the war in Belgium. If i dont join the army i may as well take up proffessional boxing, coz i was down at the fair the other night with Gary and Wayne and i hit one of those boxing machines so hard that it like actually broke the screen, you can ask Wayne, he was there. And a man came up to me, obviously important in the boxing World, coz he had three gold chains on and was black. He said, 'son you hit that any harder it will end up in Australia' I said ' i know thats why i didnt hit it hard, in case' He gave me his phone number, and said ring me to discuss contracts, and i said, naa im workin on the Tills in Tesco Extra's and im makin tons of cash there. But i rang him the other night after i drove at 62mph in a 60 mph zone (messy) , but he didnt answer, he must have been jogging or skipping like good boxers always do.But im cool, so ill let him ring me back know coz he'll see the missed call on his phone and he'l be like 'shit, i missed him, i must ring the best future boxer back' so he's bound to ring soon. I expect ill be the big thing in a few years so if you want to add me on facebook, id understand, but you should feel priviliged if i accept, coz ive got like a 136 friends already, it might be hard fitting in more to my hectic schedule. Oh whats my boxing nickname i hear you ask? Well im in the process of changing my name to Sonny 'The Best Man in the World' Johnsonsonson. So keep you eyes awake and expect to see that name on your ceefax pages in a couple ofyears, coz im like one of the best ever. Safe.
