Dasausbawz
Legend
Welcome, fellow $wagMaster that has been chosen by god as the Overlord of the lesser classes in wow. Congratulations! You've made it...
So you want to play a rogue "the right way"? Fear not! Your journey should end right here - because you've reached the Nirvana of Rogue skillcap. Welcome to the Temple (thread) of Skill, I'll be your guide...
Lesson 1 "mindset": Playing rogue requires mindset, rivaled only by great minds such as Socrates, Jesus, Leonardo Da Vinci, Adolf Hilter and Mr. Bean. As such, forget imagining that you are this sick ninja of Edo Period - while it's not wrong, it doesn't capitalize on the main strong points of this class. The right way of playing rogue requires us to go deeper, much much deeper than that. But don't worry! I shall reveal the secret required to ascend to the next level!!
WoW is a game that has 11 classes in total. However much to your surprise, they can only be divided into TWO categories. One represents Male Genitalia (/flex) - the other ten represent the Female one. Thus, all you need to do while you are pvping is: that you are a dick hungry for some action!
Lesson 2 "abilities":
Stealth - bread and butter of our survival. You need to remember that all rogues are these sexy young millionaires that all the chicks go crazy about - so in short, they want our "pants" (if you know what I mean /wink wink).
Ambush - also knows as surprise buttsex. Perhaps our strongest "opener" during an intercourse, many women spend months learning how not to get insta-orgasmed by that ability, and then lose consciousness. Best used on Sexy-Ass healers with "revealing clothing".
Evisce(rape)rate - our "finisher". Best used (after you've acquired five orgasm points of course) on chicks that you have exhausted during your sexual battle. A perfect Eviscerate happens when you finish off that sex hungry chick with a well aimed crit into her.........
Sap - Serves to build up that sexual tension. Usually used when you want to insta orgasm a chick so that you can quickly move on with banging the other.
Mutilate - better known as the sexual revolution. This ability serves as an opener, build up and sometimes even a finisher. What can I say? Chicks dig that ability.
Envenom - like Mutilate has multiple uses during an intercourse. Usually used as a "semi - finisher" to allow you to produce a more orgasmic Mutilate.
Kick - Alright, you know you've screw up. She's coming to you with that look on her face, but you are still so young! You haven't really banged enough chicks to get ready and settle down! What do you do? WHAT DO YOU DO!? It's simple my friend, you use this perfection of an ability to kick her right into the fetus and FREE YOURSELF from shackles of responsibility!
Hemorrhage - simply the best ability during the time you perform the vigorous hip-thrusting. You do it so well that it makes them bleed!
Evasion - The only counter to desperate housewives. Never forget the fact that they are always out to get your D - this is the protection required to save yourself from people who try to make you play on their terms. HELL TO THE FK NAW, the only terms people are gonna play after are yours and yours alone.
Lesson 3 "Picking the right one-night-stands":
Never-ever, and I repeat NEVER let your Jr. loose on the mid-lane orgies. Women tend to support themselves and jump on your dick like 7 to 1, so unless you know that your DongSquad is going to dominate - I'd recommend to find a better place. Sometimes however, you have to be a bro and kill the b|tches that ruin the fun for your bros - that's what being a bro is all about!
The one perfect one-night stands I've found are actually ramps, tunnels and huts. As the desperate housewives are rushing for the flag, they usually tend to forget about their friends. This is when Sap comes in handy. You separate that one b|tch from her squad - and then PENETRATE HER WITH YOUR D-agger.
Lesson 4 "The right style"
Picking the right spec is not hard since Assassination is pretty much the epitome of perfection when it comes to intercourse. Women will scream out with joy as you thoroughly give them what they want. Occasionally you will see newbs going for sub, but pay no attention - the true overlords stay true to double-penetration (hint mutilate). Combat on the other hand is the O.G. spec, that Jesus himself played back in the golden days. Oh you didn't know? Jesus was a rogue - stoooopid.
Lesson 5 "The talents"
Nightstalker - When somebody is questioning your size by saying that Nightstalker sucks, reply with the following: "CUZ I AM BATMAN!!!!" (I love you if you get the reference).
Subterfuge - Surprise-butt-sex twice? Oh Fk-the-hell YESSSS!
Shadow focus - Allows you to show the arrogant woman that the man of the house doesn't take prisoners!
Lesson 6 "the right race":
Worgen: the superior overlord race that rules above others. Firstly, google the "wolves are taking all our women", and click pictures. Secondly, you have a fkin sprint! No chick will ever escape your D slapping!
Human: Free viagra trinket, not much else to say.
Gnome: The Spriest R@per. Also allows you to build the rare 240 engi sexual toy that women go crazy about. Also knows as the Vice-Overlord of the rogue races.
Nelf: Allows you to enter a time machine, and go back in time to the point where you were about to deliver your Dbush into her V.
Undead: the old man that is just about to die of natural age
Orc: The sexy man in sea of fugly trannies. Also Viagra dps trinket
Blood elf: Seriously? You want to pick a blood elf? Get yo sh1t out of my face fgt!
Troll: Are you the kind of guy who enjoys to watch black guy fk white chicks? Then this race is for you..
Pandaren: World of Roguecraft laughing part - YouTube
Lesson 7 "The correct way to bang the 10 types of women"
Firstly, I'd like to point out that there is no women that can 1v1 you in bed if you play correctly. That's right, if you master the way of the rogue, even the desperate housewives like Spriests and Hunters will be like a walk in the park. Without wasting any more time:
Warrior: LOL! Tell her to bend over cuz it's over!!! Tear that @ss up!!! There is no need to explain what to do here - just let your sexual instincts loose!
Ret Paladin: The moment that chick entered your sexual zone, it was over for her. She is like a butterfly about to be caught be a deadly spider - EAT HER OUT!
Prot Paladin: quite capable with her hands/mouth, pretty fun intercourse actually. However even if she goes all out, you will simply outlast her.
Holy Paladin: She will try to outlast you, but little does she know that you are the master of sexual art - there is no outlasting you. If she just won't go down, drink the viagra tea to seal her fate.
Ele shaman: Viagra trinket the knockback slow - pop worgen sprint/UsaneBolt potion, and gg you have won. (oh you are not a worgen? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA lul get dumbed on).
Resto Shaman: Tell her to get down on her knees, cuz there is nothing she can do lel.
Enhancement shaman: The sleeping beast of this bracket - I'm glad nobody knows how to play him correctly.
Monk: Can easily escape your advances. However, never forget that THE CHASE IS BETTER THAN THE CATCH. Although if you are the master/overlord race that is called worgen you can just pop sprint/UsaneBoltPot pot - cuz there is no escape from da masta. The only thing to watch out for is WW monk aids that reflects the damage back to you. Kite her out while the dot is on you, pop evasion if needed and stop auto D-slapping till the aids are gone.
Disc priest: The sexiest woman in bracket, always focus her cuz she usually supports her chick friends and in return they group around her. The sexiest target! Viagra her fear, then hit the tentacles(cuz we don't respect the hentai!) so that you quickly go back to vigorous hip thrusting.
Spriest: The woman of your life! Nothing turns you on more than finishing of a shadow priest on her knees. Viagra tea is your friend. The Vice-Overlord gnomes tear those @sses like crazy.
Holy priest: oh you are playing holy? Bend over hoe...it's over
Resto/Balance druid: the chick that likes to run away from you during a date. Only the superior overlord Worgen race can handle this type of woman. Wolves don't like girls who tend to run from them during the dates, so they've developed an ancient technique called "sexual sprint" that you can combine with usane bolt potion to NOT only catch up to them - but to fkin take the lead like a true Kenyan! Be sure to @ss-bag the escaping druid after you've finished her off with a wellplaced Evi-shot.
Feral druid: the only bro in this bracket. Don't hate him, he is your friend that looks up to you in hopes of being like you one day. Little does he know that he has already surpassed the master during the finishes - seriously that guy has fkin 10 gallons of load stored in him...I mean wtf... Still proud of that guy. /brofist
Warlock: Over the course of WoW's history, Warlocks have developed a reflex muscle called "rogue". Any time a warlock hears the word "rogue", she instantly bends over. Seriously, just facer@pe dat hoe cuz there's nothing she can do!
Hunter: The woman that eats out the inexperienced rogues! Fear not! We know what we must do. Open up on her, quickly unload your load before she tries to run away. The moment she runs away, pop evasion so that you can dodge her b|tching comments about how ezzymode life is in this bracket. Remember this, you've chosen the overlord master race the worgen - and they unlike other races they have something to say: "b|tch get back here, this D aint gonna suck it self!" /pop Sprint/UsaneBoltPotion, and win at life.
Mage: What? What is a mage? Never seen one of those before...CAN A MAGE STAND UP PLS? No? ok.....moving on then.
But in all seriousness a good mage-chick can be hard since she has sexy daughter with her. What I like to do is to sap the mage, to create that extra sexual tension - then 1-shot her daughter. At that point a mage has only 1 share that you can Viagra trinket and then pop your SUPERIOR OVERLORD SPRINT TO CATCH UP TO HER with that STOOPIDLY FAST TALENT OF THEIRS. After that they might as well bend over - cuz it's over!
Rogue: @££$€€{€$££@£$€{[][{€$£@YOLOSWAG420BLAZEitFGtNOSCOPE360GG that FGT.
Final lesson - "GTFO OUT OF MAH FACE!"
WTF U WAITING ON, ROGUES R OP GO GET EM CHAMP! SERIOUSLY go 360 them u bastard
So you want to play a rogue "the right way"? Fear not! Your journey should end right here - because you've reached the Nirvana of Rogue skillcap. Welcome to the Temple (thread) of Skill, I'll be your guide...
Lesson 1 "mindset": Playing rogue requires mindset, rivaled only by great minds such as Socrates, Jesus, Leonardo Da Vinci, Adolf Hilter and Mr. Bean. As such, forget imagining that you are this sick ninja of Edo Period - while it's not wrong, it doesn't capitalize on the main strong points of this class. The right way of playing rogue requires us to go deeper, much much deeper than that. But don't worry! I shall reveal the secret required to ascend to the next level!!
WoW is a game that has 11 classes in total. However much to your surprise, they can only be divided into TWO categories. One represents Male Genitalia (/flex) - the other ten represent the Female one. Thus, all you need to do while you are pvping is: that you are a dick hungry for some action!
Lesson 2 "abilities":
Stealth - bread and butter of our survival. You need to remember that all rogues are these sexy young millionaires that all the chicks go crazy about - so in short, they want our "pants" (if you know what I mean /wink wink).
Ambush - also knows as surprise buttsex. Perhaps our strongest "opener" during an intercourse, many women spend months learning how not to get insta-orgasmed by that ability, and then lose consciousness. Best used on Sexy-Ass healers with "revealing clothing".
Evisce(rape)rate - our "finisher". Best used (after you've acquired five orgasm points of course) on chicks that you have exhausted during your sexual battle. A perfect Eviscerate happens when you finish off that sex hungry chick with a well aimed crit into her.........
Sap - Serves to build up that sexual tension. Usually used when you want to insta orgasm a chick so that you can quickly move on with banging the other.
Mutilate - better known as the sexual revolution. This ability serves as an opener, build up and sometimes even a finisher. What can I say? Chicks dig that ability.
Envenom - like Mutilate has multiple uses during an intercourse. Usually used as a "semi - finisher" to allow you to produce a more orgasmic Mutilate.
Kick - Alright, you know you've screw up. She's coming to you with that look on her face, but you are still so young! You haven't really banged enough chicks to get ready and settle down! What do you do? WHAT DO YOU DO!? It's simple my friend, you use this perfection of an ability to kick her right into the fetus and FREE YOURSELF from shackles of responsibility!
Hemorrhage - simply the best ability during the time you perform the vigorous hip-thrusting. You do it so well that it makes them bleed!
Evasion - The only counter to desperate housewives. Never forget the fact that they are always out to get your D - this is the protection required to save yourself from people who try to make you play on their terms. HELL TO THE FK NAW, the only terms people are gonna play after are yours and yours alone.
Lesson 3 "Picking the right one-night-stands":
Never-ever, and I repeat NEVER let your Jr. loose on the mid-lane orgies. Women tend to support themselves and jump on your dick like 7 to 1, so unless you know that your DongSquad is going to dominate - I'd recommend to find a better place. Sometimes however, you have to be a bro and kill the b|tches that ruin the fun for your bros - that's what being a bro is all about!
The one perfect one-night stands I've found are actually ramps, tunnels and huts. As the desperate housewives are rushing for the flag, they usually tend to forget about their friends. This is when Sap comes in handy. You separate that one b|tch from her squad - and then PENETRATE HER WITH YOUR D-agger.
Lesson 4 "The right style"
Picking the right spec is not hard since Assassination is pretty much the epitome of perfection when it comes to intercourse. Women will scream out with joy as you thoroughly give them what they want. Occasionally you will see newbs going for sub, but pay no attention - the true overlords stay true to double-penetration (hint mutilate). Combat on the other hand is the O.G. spec, that Jesus himself played back in the golden days. Oh you didn't know? Jesus was a rogue - stoooopid.
Lesson 5 "The talents"
Nightstalker - When somebody is questioning your size by saying that Nightstalker sucks, reply with the following: "CUZ I AM BATMAN!!!!" (I love you if you get the reference).
Subterfuge - Surprise-butt-sex twice? Oh Fk-the-hell YESSSS!
Shadow focus - Allows you to show the arrogant woman that the man of the house doesn't take prisoners!
Lesson 6 "the right race":
Worgen: the superior overlord race that rules above others. Firstly, google the "wolves are taking all our women", and click pictures. Secondly, you have a fkin sprint! No chick will ever escape your D slapping!
Human: Free viagra trinket, not much else to say.
Gnome: The Spriest R@per. Also allows you to build the rare 240 engi sexual toy that women go crazy about. Also knows as the Vice-Overlord of the rogue races.
Nelf: Allows you to enter a time machine, and go back in time to the point where you were about to deliver your Dbush into her V.
Undead: the old man that is just about to die of natural age
Orc: The sexy man in sea of fugly trannies. Also Viagra dps trinket
Blood elf: Seriously? You want to pick a blood elf? Get yo sh1t out of my face fgt!
Troll: Are you the kind of guy who enjoys to watch black guy fk white chicks? Then this race is for you..
Pandaren: World of Roguecraft laughing part - YouTube
Lesson 7 "The correct way to bang the 10 types of women"
Firstly, I'd like to point out that there is no women that can 1v1 you in bed if you play correctly. That's right, if you master the way of the rogue, even the desperate housewives like Spriests and Hunters will be like a walk in the park. Without wasting any more time:
Warrior: LOL! Tell her to bend over cuz it's over!!! Tear that @ss up!!! There is no need to explain what to do here - just let your sexual instincts loose!
Ret Paladin: The moment that chick entered your sexual zone, it was over for her. She is like a butterfly about to be caught be a deadly spider - EAT HER OUT!
Prot Paladin: quite capable with her hands/mouth, pretty fun intercourse actually. However even if she goes all out, you will simply outlast her.
Holy Paladin: She will try to outlast you, but little does she know that you are the master of sexual art - there is no outlasting you. If she just won't go down, drink the viagra tea to seal her fate.
Ele shaman: Viagra trinket the knockback slow - pop worgen sprint/UsaneBolt potion, and gg you have won. (oh you are not a worgen? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA lul get dumbed on).
Resto Shaman: Tell her to get down on her knees, cuz there is nothing she can do lel.
Enhancement shaman: The sleeping beast of this bracket - I'm glad nobody knows how to play him correctly.
Monk: Can easily escape your advances. However, never forget that THE CHASE IS BETTER THAN THE CATCH. Although if you are the master/overlord race that is called worgen you can just pop sprint/UsaneBoltPot pot - cuz there is no escape from da masta. The only thing to watch out for is WW monk aids that reflects the damage back to you. Kite her out while the dot is on you, pop evasion if needed and stop auto D-slapping till the aids are gone.
Disc priest: The sexiest woman in bracket, always focus her cuz she usually supports her chick friends and in return they group around her. The sexiest target! Viagra her fear, then hit the tentacles(cuz we don't respect the hentai!) so that you quickly go back to vigorous hip thrusting.
Spriest: The woman of your life! Nothing turns you on more than finishing of a shadow priest on her knees. Viagra tea is your friend. The Vice-Overlord gnomes tear those @sses like crazy.
Holy priest: oh you are playing holy? Bend over hoe...it's over
Resto/Balance druid: the chick that likes to run away from you during a date. Only the superior overlord Worgen race can handle this type of woman. Wolves don't like girls who tend to run from them during the dates, so they've developed an ancient technique called "sexual sprint" that you can combine with usane bolt potion to NOT only catch up to them - but to fkin take the lead like a true Kenyan! Be sure to @ss-bag the escaping druid after you've finished her off with a wellplaced Evi-shot.
Feral druid: the only bro in this bracket. Don't hate him, he is your friend that looks up to you in hopes of being like you one day. Little does he know that he has already surpassed the master during the finishes - seriously that guy has fkin 10 gallons of load stored in him...I mean wtf... Still proud of that guy. /brofist
Warlock: Over the course of WoW's history, Warlocks have developed a reflex muscle called "rogue". Any time a warlock hears the word "rogue", she instantly bends over. Seriously, just facer@pe dat hoe cuz there's nothing she can do!
Hunter: The woman that eats out the inexperienced rogues! Fear not! We know what we must do. Open up on her, quickly unload your load before she tries to run away. The moment she runs away, pop evasion so that you can dodge her b|tching comments about how ezzymode life is in this bracket. Remember this, you've chosen the overlord master race the worgen - and they unlike other races they have something to say: "b|tch get back here, this D aint gonna suck it self!" /pop Sprint/UsaneBoltPotion, and win at life.
Mage: What? What is a mage? Never seen one of those before...CAN A MAGE STAND UP PLS? No? ok.....moving on then.
But in all seriousness a good mage-chick can be hard since she has sexy daughter with her. What I like to do is to sap the mage, to create that extra sexual tension - then 1-shot her daughter. At that point a mage has only 1 share that you can Viagra trinket and then pop your SUPERIOR OVERLORD SPRINT TO CATCH UP TO HER with that STOOPIDLY FAST TALENT OF THEIRS. After that they might as well bend over - cuz it's over!
Rogue: @££$€€{€$££@£$€{[][{€$£@YOLOSWAG420BLAZEitFGtNOSCOPE360GG that FGT.
Final lesson - "GTFO OUT OF MAH FACE!"
WTF U WAITING ON, ROGUES R OP GO GET EM CHAMP! SERIOUSLY go 360 them u bastard
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