Maximum Damaged Wow Hoomans

[ghank]

So Wow has been an interesting journey for me. Along the way of playing I discovered that I am autistic, have ADD, and am an alcoholic. Wooot! Oh ya I am sarcastic and have a dry sense of humor. So the best peeps here seem to be like me, fucked up, or abnormals. I love this game but I almost love it more than my wife and life itself. It brings me safety, something to do that feel safe when I choose. Life is fucked up, people are the same. It's Hooman nature to be that way. Yet most deny it. I have been twinkin for Jeebus 15 years? Used to play 16 hours a day, stopped checking the mail, caring for myself/life. But somehow all the rage it gave me, I continued. Blizzard has created my crack I guess, and I can see others. Rad (AKA shit I can't remember the druids classic name), Odie, and many many others who I see everyday, playing WSG, waiting in queue, must be like me, damaged hooman, odd, not feeling safe in society, just loving this shit and hating it at times too.

I've met a few people in game lately that said, HEY are you ghank? Ya that is me. And by the way that is my name, first initial part of my last name. PLAY PLAY PLAY WOW. Anywho in the last 5 years I have discovered how fucked up my childhood was. I know learning that has inspired me to avoid real life more. I owned a company with 40+ employees with the wifie and wow kinda played a role in it. That much responsibility was too much for me and my odd brain. I need repetition and less hooman interaction. I mean I am autistic with ADD. Yet I am still at the helm of the company. We simplified it so there are less hoomans to interact with. I don't get people I have learned. They think one thing, I think something else.

I can hear my wifie saying I am rambling on. Ya I tend to do that I guess. Seems normal to me. SO my Dad was a major alcoholic and I used to work for him. He was an amazing person, did some great stuff. Made millions putting together investments. And his/my blood sucking entitled family bled him dry. All my siblings decided to be leeches. My Dad basically took care of them into their 40s, and then he died of kidney failure and a broken heart. With the help of my wifie, I broke away from the family and all their craziness.

So in addition to my messed up genetics, I was also molested by my mom. She is a huge ball of screwed up. So I am moving to another state, changing my contact stuff, starting anew. But I can play this game 36/7, non-stop, until I pass out. It never gets old despite it screwing up my life and me. I sometimes wonder why this is my crack?

Ya this was too much info. But hey, I have no boundaries, or so I am told. Anyways, thanks for listening.

 

[Zemmix]

Hmmm...that was certainly an interesting read.

While I genuinely have no idea how much of that is intoxicated rambling/trolling/genuine, I guess I'll approach it as if it's a legitimate inquiry and post.

I definitely can relate with the mental illness aspect, and I think a great deal (though likely not a majority in this day and age, everyone games now) of gamers are in the boat. In particular, those in MMORPGs as it can kind of be a refuge for such. If you deal with severe anxiety, social awkwardness, or what have you, it can be a great way to have human interaction - albeit virtually. It allows you to have a sense of freedom and also an escape from your troubles. I dealt with severe agoraphobia for a long time, as well as a lifelong struggle with other anxiety disorders as well as autism. I used to loathe and resent the latter diagnosis, and thought of it almost as some insulting badge indicating I was lesser. I think the only real stigma was the one I created for myself in my head, though.

I have no idea if I fit the diagnostic criteria of being an alcoholic, but I certainly used to drink far too much. Started off as being a means to wreck myself and my mind to distract from depression and a bad breakup, and then it transformed into becoming a way to add spice to life and have fun. Later on, it just went back to being a means to self-medicate, sort of a vicious cycle. It no longer was fun, and it only made me miserable and was wrecking havoc on my body physically. After years of my family, friends, and doctor telling me to quit, I eventually did and never looked back. I don't have any sort of cravings or hunger for it, but sometimes I do miss the social aspect of it. Being a very introverted and awkward person, I feel as if it made me open up and be much more social. In the end, it was truly a crutch for everything I felt was a shortcoming. And yet, a crutch is only intended to be there until you can walk on your own again...Which I figured I may as well at least try to do, albeit with a bit of a limp, eh?

Genetics, yeah that's a rough hand that no one can really do anything about. I've got a mix of great and terrible ones myself, but I try to just shrug about it.

Anyways, a wall of text for a wall of text. tl;dr We're all a little mentally hilarious. Life is what you make of it.

 

[Magrain]

Hey, Its not really a rational choice or decision to fully vent and spill out majority of private life matters (If its actually genuine and not some elaborate troll) to strangers on the internet. Youre bound to encounter that one parasite who might just either exploit that said weakness or poke fun of it being edgy and shit. And trust me, the internet is merciless when it comes to grasping the littlest of private affairs/ matters anyone talked about here and there. Any kind of deformalities which can either be physical or psychological, the internet will take advantage of it and spread Nuclear levels of Toxicity that rivals Chernobyl and Hiroshima. This doesnt just include XPoff, its a generalization anywhere. But who am I to judge a person?

 

[Zemmix]

Hey, Its not really a rational choice or decision to fully vent and spill out majority of private life matters (If its actually genuine and not some elaborate troll) to strangers on the internet. Youre bound to encounter that one parasite who might just either exploit that said weakness or poke fun of it being edgy and shit. And trust me, the internet is merciless when it comes to grasping the littlest of private affairs/ matters anyone talked about here and there. Any kind of deformalities which can either be physical or psychological, the internet will take advantage of it and spread Nuclear levels of Toxicity that rivals Chernobyl and Hiroshima. This doesnt just include XPoff, its a generalization anywhere. But who am I to judge a person?

Perhaps.

Or perhaps it takes away the power of said trolls and delegitimizes their words when you are upfront with anything. You could look at it either way, really. Plus, I don't really think someone saying they have various mental illness issues under relative anonymity on a forum is much in the way of giving away majority of private life matters.

 

[Magrain]

Perhaps.

Or perhaps it takes away the power of said trolls and delegitimizes their words when you are upfront with anything. You could look at it either way, really. Plus, I don't really think someone saying they have various mental illness issues under relative anonymity on a forum is much in the way of giving away majority of private life matters.

Its true what you say, but im afraid I have encountered a particular individual on the internet who, well, lets just say he wore an entirely different facade than what he actually was. Definitely an ugly side of people here, which is why I stated such circumstances. Perhaps its my fault for trusting him to begin with.

 

[ghank]

Well I don't really care what others think about me. Part of my oddness I guess. I tend to not have boundaries and am willing to put it all out there. Think I am crazy, great! Think I am not, well I probably am. I don't think like others. My weirdness helped me create a company that created a new design trend that swept the world. Ya that could be bragging, but it's true. But who wants to be normal? What is not rational is to hide our feelings to a point that we don't even know ourselves anymore. We have a false identity. I am fucked up, I admit that. But that cuckedness helped me do some great things. I one of those new mutants...

 

[Magrain]

Well I don't really care what others think about me. Part of my oddness I guess. I tend to not have boundaries and am willing to put it all out there. Think I am crazy, great! Think I am not, well I probably am. I don't think like others. My weirdness helped me create a company that created a new design trend that swept the world. Ya that could be bragging, but it's true. But who wants to be normal? What is not rational is to hide our feelings to a point that we don't even know ourselves anymore. We have a false identity. I am fucked up, I admit that. But that cuckedness helped me do some great things. I one of those new mutants...

I apologize for underestimating your magnificent self-esteem.

 

[ghank]

I apologize for underestimating your magnificent self-esteem.

No problem jackass. Your passive aggressive BS won't work on me. Save that for your momma.

 

[Neon]

Wtf did I just read

 

[Zemmix]

Wtf did I just read

At least this thread doesn't have any shirtless flexing pictures in it yet, amirit

I'm so weird too guys

Oh, we know...We know.

 

[Anexa]

I discovered that I am autistic.

I love this game but I almost love it more than my wife and life itself. It brings me safety, something to do that feel safe when I choose. Life is fucked up, people are the same. It's Hooman nature to be that way.

I know learning that has inspired me to avoid real life more.

With the help of my wifie, I broke away from the family and all their craziness.

So in addition to my messed up genetics, I was also molested by my mom. She is a huge ball of screwed up. So I am moving to another state, changing my contact stuff, starting anew. But I can play this game 36/7, non-stop, until I pass out. It never gets old despite it screwing up my life and me. I sometimes wonder why this is my crack?

quoted the parts I reacted to. But idk what to say really. You seem concerned about being addicted to WoW, yet it seems like you enjoy it and have no problem with it? does it affect your life negatively in any way? because it doesn't seem like it when you said you are at the top of your job + have a wife etc.

Just continue doing what you enjoy?

Can't say it's human nature to be addicted to gaming however, I see it as a male or perhaps even autistic trait. You say you want to escape reality. How about dealing with it instead? To do something about the stuff you don't enjoy?

I don't really like when family members stop talking to each other, it's still your family. You don't have to see them everyday, but at least be nice and keep contact with them. Seeing them like once per year is enough, depending on how close you live. I think it's a must despite how you may not like it. It's quite a burden for everyone to be with some family members, but it's still important

Then my first thought: Ever thought of getting children?

WoW is addictive to many. The reputation part as you mentioned, the escape from reality, the rewards/dopamine effects. But I don't think it's worth it in the end. The time consumation is way too extreme, it will take a toll on you when you realize 15 years of your life has passed where majority of your dedication has gone into some useless game. What does mounts, transmog, achievements mean to you in Shadowlands? To me it means nothing and now it's starting all over in WoW Classic. I don't feel like participating once again, that's why I am all-in into twinking this time. I refuse to level up to 70 (bought boost tho XD!) and reputation grind again etc. on long and boring content I've done before. Then TBC will be irrelevant once WotLK Classic releases and you got to start over again !