Come one come all friends.
Tis be a story of love and loss and force to keep the intellectual rights.
It all started somewhere around shadowlands and the times when garrisons became available to 20s.
It was a times on yonder and endless new possibilities of scaling for most people. The thrill of exploring new continents and dungeons and all this scalable items was new and exiting for a lot of people they went exploring in many great directions for hopes of finding treasure unseen. But not this rugged ol hat. No. You see i knew that the gold was always under our feet and most of people were too blind too see it. I knew that with right amount of alts and right amount of clicking in all the right places i could make it all work printing millions to give away to friends because lets face it the gold is the last thing i needed after all this time running away from a mailbox simulator.
And so i set up my plan, with me having an army at my disposal it was merely a challenge. All i had to do is run 25 alts to get 2 blue prints and a level 2 garrison. A pitiful task to someone who spent 7 month solo farming prison keys for outland rep. This garrison plan would be complete. Nothing could stop it. Even a gloomshroud armor couldn't withstand the fine poking of 3557 times to it. How this afk gold printing simulator could defeat someone who maxed out all the mop reputations via lfd bonus rep?! ofc it stood no chance.
It was only a matter to beat my followers enough times until moral and traits had improved to a proper levels and table mission resource output. With the table addon. Boy i was unstoppable! Steadily it all locked in to place and line god went up. I started to gain more weed than my followers and ink buildings could smoke leaving me with solid surplus of shit to sell on auction house when even this shit company would throw free gametime at me.
Beginning was rough. The clicking was slow. The milling took too much time. What a humble Mohawk could do one might wonder. I agreed the situation would require out of the box thinking. For years i had been using xpadder to click my way away with ease but it felt risky to do it on this grand scale. Surely the po-po was on to me i thought to my self. I know i could do better i told myself.
Tis be a story of love and loss and force to keep the intellectual rights.
It all started somewhere around shadowlands and the times when garrisons became available to 20s.
It was a times on yonder and endless new possibilities of scaling for most people. The thrill of exploring new continents and dungeons and all this scalable items was new and exiting for a lot of people they went exploring in many great directions for hopes of finding treasure unseen. But not this rugged ol hat. No. You see i knew that the gold was always under our feet and most of people were too blind too see it. I knew that with right amount of alts and right amount of clicking in all the right places i could make it all work printing millions to give away to friends because lets face it the gold is the last thing i needed after all this time running away from a mailbox simulator.
And so i set up my plan, with me having an army at my disposal it was merely a challenge. All i had to do is run 25 alts to get 2 blue prints and a level 2 garrison. A pitiful task to someone who spent 7 month solo farming prison keys for outland rep. This garrison plan would be complete. Nothing could stop it. Even a gloomshroud armor couldn't withstand the fine poking of 3557 times to it. How this afk gold printing simulator could defeat someone who maxed out all the mop reputations via lfd bonus rep?! ofc it stood no chance.
It was only a matter to beat my followers enough times until moral and traits had improved to a proper levels and table mission resource output. With the table addon. Boy i was unstoppable! Steadily it all locked in to place and line god went up. I started to gain more weed than my followers and ink buildings could smoke leaving me with solid surplus of shit to sell on auction house when even this shit company would throw free gametime at me.
Beginning was rough. The clicking was slow. The milling took too much time. What a humble Mohawk could do one might wonder. I agreed the situation would require out of the box thinking. For years i had been using xpadder to click my way away with ease but it felt risky to do it on this grand scale. Surely the po-po was on to me i thought to my self. I know i could do better i told myself.
Say hello to a 3$ touch pen and a 10 year old touch pad!
One day i started to notice a strange behavior. Somehow my touch pad on one of my laptops kept on clicking. WITCH I DID SCREAM! How could it be! Why this magnets make my mouse pointer go mental and my mouse click go brrr whenever i lay this touch pen of my on top of it.
My pondering on this fact continued over some weeks.
Then it all clicked!
Eureka!
If i put the thing on a thing that does the thing it will do that thing for me and this muppets wont even know what hit em!
Alas. There was a problem. The touch pen made curser to act like Hunter Biden on crack and zap around place. If only there was a way to solve this...
Queue bartender addon!
Scale action bar to half a screen throw cards at it all over and let it loot it all for me! And so it did! Not very reliably but hey! few thousand cards in an hour with me afk! and po-po can't see me rollin! With few tricks up my sleeves to counter the tedious milling click your boy was back in town! it all just went brr on its own!
And so it did for some years. I would only need to log every alt once every 3.5 days and redo a thing. once i reached my peak form i was pumping out 150cards per log in and 300 per week on a single character with me doing fuck all. Now time that 25. We were in business!
Time came and went patch after patch and it all worked. The past years and ever shittier game balance and straight decline of game became ever more evident. Yet this small thing that started as a meme goal became something more. I gave me a reason to think about this shit game. To log my characters spend time sitting on them and plan my moves.
It felt funky to vendor shit for 500-800k over and over again each time my account was activated by some reason. It became a dedication of sort.
A sport.
All this https://www.wowhead.com/item=113355/card-of-omens to vendor at an exponential rate...
It became... FAMILY.
Alas good time never last and so my poor old touch pad and a thing it was connected to moved to the farm up state to retire after all those thousands of Warsong Gulches won and all those flags carried. My touch pet was heart broken. For few month it and I felt like nothing could replace that golden run we had.
Those 9000rpm we did...
It was tragedy.
Even introduction of auto milling in garrison would not cheer me up that much.
We were beaten.
But not defeated.
Queue a 20 year old chiclet keyboard without key caps!
Little did the Lizzard Blizzard No Wizzard know i was high above in mountain peaks mastering my energy flow. And in that Zen moment after a hard day of training with Jackie in a karate temple i took my 3$ touch pen with detachable end and combined it with my old boy rapper with bunch of key caps missing!
The resold was earth shattering! We were back in biz! Greater than ever before! Not only the process been streamlined to a point i didn't had to pay attention to milling of crafting flip cards now i could loot 150 cards within the time it took my character to run back to mission table without me even noticing!
And po-po couldn't touch me! i was free! figuratively and literally! Nothing was running in background, looting delay was human esc with random intervals. They had nothing on me!
And so another year passed by another load was unloaded and given away. Then i saw it. I glimmer of hope things in this game could turn up to better!
Queue warbank...
It was fitting my grand scheme flawlessly. now not only i could skip looting cards on each characters but i could pocket white and sub green cards! extra dolla bill bill yo!
Within fw month my warbank ended up at around 50k gold from all the things i had to vendor and lose on back in day. It felt like we were on the move!
But as all things go: With great success, comes great not giving a fuck.
I became lazy.
Started to skip weeks.
Generally lost the point since what the fuck i need gold for anyway i got warbank full of enchants that would last me lifetime i was telling me.
I was crafting cards and throwing em in bank to get out latter on single char to sit and loot when ever i feel like.
What could possibly go wrong!
So i was thinking same one Christmas eve when i threw another 10k cards in to a bank thinking to myself ah well i take it out later.
But just like in that sad story. Daddy was never back from that trip to a milk store.
Poor old 10k Card of Omens were stuck there for eternity.
Unable to move out. So close. Yet so far.
Another hit to our grand adventure.
But it take more than that to kill me you stupid developers!
I was bound to be back! Or so i thought!
Even thought after years of doing this it became "my thing" and my "safe bubble" to log in and do i was still slacking.
On average i could clear about 350k in 2-3 month depending on luck but lately... it felt like tides were about to turn.
Past 4 month i had this feeling that something is coming my way. something i wont be able to avoid.
But would that be me if i change my way and just activated my account on my own using all my wow token and give this cunt company a victory of 1 extra active account!?
Ofc not. And even knowing the fact that i was sitting on around 650k gold to vendor i did nothing.
I let Jesus take the wheel expecting a free gametime moch weekend anyway now!
Little did i knew that instead of free gametime this No Wizzard Blizzard look mom amma Lizzard turned one of my Veteran licenses in to pure trial and demanding i pay em again.
BLASPHEMY!
No amount of AI (always indians) copy past slop GM responses could convince me. So what they made one of my account vet by mistake years ago! someone gave me promotional month of gametime on it anyway! and it was another license go away! Im not paying yall!
In my clash of titans in past weeks i may have triggered the gaze of gods to my account and my recent activity.
Sure i did had ban before for deleveling blackvenom blade to 20 but it was in another life!
To ask did i regret it is like to ask did i regret fishing up 29 lucking fishing hats for no reason.
Ofc i did not.
And so i pushed on. Knowing i was riding with stolen bank worth north of 600k gold i demanded speak to manager. over and over. To no avail ofc.
Or was it?!
Just yesterday it all felt normal. In my mind i even wondered if i should reactivate it all to vendor.
That pity mortal in me received a beating ofc. But today the tide did change on this old mohawk.
Good old 650k+ were turned in to a 60k over night.
What could of been - was never meant to.
In some distance universe in some distance multiverse. I still had it all. I Was still king.
I listened to a bitch part of me and activated account to sell it all in time...
I still was Mop table king of pop 1 shoting Alphasky with it while he carried a flag...
I was still loosing duel to Myst due to missing my poisoned throw and him and him restealthing on me...
Somewhere somehow it all was making sense...
But hold up, hold up...
Why do you say it is all your fault that now every time i see purple wod inc card i have to thank your stupid ass for it?!
Well sir that is fine questions.
See i happen to own more!
More than they all know!
Nothing else were fixed!
Just Wod Cards.
What are the odds of them going back to Wod shit and just hot fixing it?
The way it would not show on ptr? just out of no where?!
After a clash of titans?!
Of this magnitute?!
I think i rest my case fine ladies and gentlemen.
Tis be Me, Myself and I to claim this fine tittle.
On top of 2.5 million raw gold i vendored over years on a F2P lapsed account.
So next time you come across wod purple card - give a tip of the hat to a rugged ol hat.
Was this a critical hit? a mortal blow?
Is it the end of the story and world as we know it?!
Funny enough i did not even felt this hit.
If anything it solidified my opinion on this shit company and this nerd developers who feel triggered by anyone thinking out of the box.
I had a good run.
A run over them.
It was one for the books.
And One For The FAMILY.
See you on the other side me hearties.
