Mortox
OG
I hereby Proudly present My very own Gold Guide !
MEGAUPLOAD - The leading online storage and file delivery service
You can download it from Megauplaod, of if you reeealy dont like them send me a PM with your email and I will mail it to you if you want.
If you like the guide, please tell me !
HAPPY GOLD MAKING GUYS
It pains me to add this, but here is a TI version of it. Download it rather imo, Either way, Enjoy !
GOLD GUIDE, BY MORTOX
Gold, we all want it but it seems so hard to make, right ?
WRONG !
In this guide I will show you all of my own, personal tips and tricks that I have used to make hundreds of thousands of wow gold. I will cover all of the top tricks from the most basic known about tricks to some of the more secret ones. Gold sellers will probably hate my guts but whatever. It’s time people knew.
I will start from the beginning.
Allll righty then ! Let us begin.
Mining
The first thing to do if you have a low lvl character or perhaps an extremely poor main is get an alt that is lvl 5 +, and go mine yourself some Copper Ore ! This stuff sells from anywhere between 8-30g / stack on most servers and is always a great way to make some startup gold really fast as it’s a very lucrative market. Of course if you do have a main then all you need to do is like 5 dailies and you are set anyways All old world ores are selling for amazing prices at the moment too. Mithril, Thorium and Truesilver are all at all time highs now. Time to make yourself a DK alt and get mining!
While on the subject of Ores, have a look on your auction house what the prices of unsmelted ores are, MOST normal servers will have 1 -2 types of ores that cost about half as much as they do when smelted. All you need to do is spend 5 mins afk smelting 500 Mithril bars! : P
Pets
The next thing to look out for is pets! Those glorious little things that sell for amazing amounts of gold simply because they look cute! If you are feeling adventurous, try getting one of the little raptors that drop off ALL rare raptors as well as normal ones (rare though)
There are a number of rare raptors all around wow, depending on your server you should decide which ones to get!
Then we have all the alliance only/ horde only pets from the argent crusade which also sell decently well.
Limited Sale Recipies
Limited quantity recipes - WoWWiki - Your guide to the World of Warcraft
There are also a number of limited sale Weapons that look cool and therefore fetch a fair price at a vendor. While on Limited supply weapons, if you have Enchanting, one of the BEST and easiest ever methods of getting gold/ mats for your TBC enchants are The following two items from Halaa in Nagrand :
[item]Arkadian Claymore[/item] + [item]The Sharp Cookie[/item] For Horde
[item]Avenging Blades[/item] + [item]Halaani Claymore[/item] For Alliance.
The vendor will spawn only if your faction controls Halaa and it is therefore a little tricky on some servers but 200g every 30 mins is not to be looked down on !
Now, if you like grinding this next bit is for you ! There are a number of excellent things to grind if you have a 70 + character. The best things will be Primal Air, Primal Mana and also Eternal Fire (Storm Peaks - 77,63)
Enchanting Scrolls
Scrolls! Scrolls?! Scrolls?? Yep Scrolls. These beasts are every enchanter’s dream come true. Normally you can expect to make a 100 % profit AT LEAST on these scrolls, 1000% on Twink scrolls, even better if you farm them yourself.
Scroll markets you want to get into:
* + 30 SP (Enchant Weapon – Spellpower)
* Crusader (Enchant Weapon – Crusader)
* Fiery Weapon (Enchant Weapon – Fiery Weapon)
* 22 Intellect (Enchant weapon – Mighty Intellect)
* + 15 AGI (Enchant weapon – Agility)
* + 25 AGI (Enchant 2H Weapon – Agility)
* Mongoose (Enchant Weapon – Mongoose)
Those 7 scrolls have made me 10’s of thousands of gold each month by themselves. Your best bet is to either make very good friends with an enchanter that can do them, or get yourself an enchanter for max profit. Most are not hard at all to farm. Omigod this is SUCH easy gold lol. Most scrolls cost me either nothing or less than 80g to make if I am too lazy to get the mats myself. Some of them cost me around 40g to make but because they are so rare they sell regularly for 550g +. Never put more than 3 scrolls at a time up on the Ah, and also if you can get a corner on their market. Try posting them with 2-3 different alts and people will assume that the price posted is the normal price. It works, trust me.
Strathlome
Ah yeah, good old Strathy’. This place is literally a GOLD MINE For enchanters and farmers alike. A typical run here will easily net me at least 500- 1000g worth of Enchanting mats. Yep, 1k for a 10 min run. Tonnes of greens, blues and even a cool mount could be yours! This place is farmable at 70 + easily, and at 80 any class can solo it with ease.
Gems
Mmmmm, Jewelcrafting. JC is probably one of the most profitable profession of any of them apart from Inscription (which I will cover in a bit).
Your best sellers as a JC will obviously be the Epic gems, there used to be a method that involved prospecting ores, but it’s no longer viable with the low prices of Dusts nowdays.
Here is what I used to do : Crafting for DE
There are several items you can craft for DE profit. In order to determine what will work on your server you would need to compare the total cost of the item to craft and see if it falls in your acceptable DE value (for more information look at Enchanting)
The main items I use for DE purposes:
Azure Moonstone Ring
Fel Iron Blood Ring
Golden Draenite Ring
Bloodstone Band
Sun Rock Ring
Crystal Citrine Necklace
Crystal Chalcedony Amulet
Stoneguard Band or Shadowmight Ring
You can still make buckets of gold with JC though, and one of the best ways possible is probably sitting in Dalaran and selling cuts for a tip.
Cloth
There are three kinds of cloth that it is profitable to farm or to look out for on the AH for various reasons. The first( and best) is Netherweave Cloth. If you see it at less than 3g a stack, buy it and make Heavy Netherweave bandages. OR If you are a tailor or know one , buy a stack of cloth and make Netherweave bags. These are normally a 200 % markup at least. Cloth costs ~4g/stack and bags sell for 9-12g each. Easy gold to be made here.
Wool Cloth seems to be a very good seller recently and prices for it reflect this. Same with Linen Cloth. Run Deadmines/ Stockades a few times and enjoy making easy gold.
In-Game Events
In game events have excellent gold making opportunities all the time. The most profitable ones are the Darkmoon Faire as well as the X-mas holidays. Darkmoon Faire vendors sell limited amounts of herbs, eternals and all sorts of other goodies, including pets.
A small tip now is to stock up on Small Eggs so long in anticipation of the Easter event. They were going for 3g EACH last year on both of my servers, and can be farmed with a lvl 10 quite easily. I will leave it up to you to find the best egg farming spots though [item]Small Egg[/item] .
Primordial Saronite
Primordial Saronites sell for around 2-2.5k on most servers and only require 30 mins a day for a couple of days to get it. They sell like hotcakes. Excellent form of gold making for anyone with a lvl 80. Don’t forget the weekly raid which gives 5 of these as well as 5 badges too.
Inscription
Last but FAR from least is the mighty Inscription. I was originally not going to include this as it is by far my main/second best way of making gold. But I did promise you guys infinite gold and here it comes.
First thing to do is to lvl your inscription to 400 + at least. You can sell Scrolls, Glyphs and will actually end up doubling the gold it took you to power lvl it. At least I did on the 4 times I have levelled inscription. Stick to Armour/ Weapon Vellums and you can’t go wrong. Even selling these things ALONE will net you an impressive profit. But that pales in comparison to what is to come.
So let’s get into it then. You will need to buy as much Adder’s Tongue/Icethorn as you can afford to without making the price rise by buying out all the cheap stuff. Next step is simple, Mill it all. Make a /use Adder’s Tongue /cast Milling macro (just change Adder’s Tongue to Icethorn for Icethorn). It’s a lot easier to spam that macro than click them individually
So now you have a crapload of Azure Pigment and hopefully a good number of Icy Pigments. You can either sell the Icy pigments for a good price (99.9 % of the time a SINGLE Icy Pigment pays for the herb stack and half of the next one, lol.) Now, you can be safe and make a whole load of Icy Pigments and sell them on the AH. OR you can take a risk. Also, the Azure Pigment sells for 2-5g EACH, You can make them into Ink of the Sea which sells on average for twice to three times as much as the herbs do. And when herb stacks cost 11-20g you can see how easy it is to make gold here.
But this is child’s play. This is the safe option. There is another way to make MASSIVE amounts of gold with a little luck and twice as much perseverance. Here’s how to do it:
Turn your Pigments into Ink of the Sea. Then turn your Icy Pigments into Snowfall Ink. Next buy out all the Eternal Life you can afford to. Then you Cross your fingers and make some Darkmoon Card of the North.
(Darkmoon Card of the North ). If you are lucky you will make a couple of Nobles cards. These are your best sellers with some individual cards going for well over 1k EACH and decks going for 4-8k depending on the server. Using this method will NOT always bring you a Noble’s card, however when you make 1 or 2 cards out of 10 you have covered costs AND still come out with a profit.
I make on average 5k every half hour with this method, while I am watching a movie/Tv or talking on IRC. Just stand there spamming your macro and making the inks etc. I love this method
Another great seller are the Books you can make with Inscription, namely :
Faces of Doom
Iron Bound Tome
Those two sell for 4-500g a piece on most servers and cost around 20-60g to make. More profit.
Lastly I will leave you with some useful addons that you should download :
Auctioneer: properly set up this is your best friend on the auction house.
Snatch: Instantly alerts/buys out auctions that you tell it to. Things like Shadowfangs etc that are far below normal price etc. Many, many times this awesome little addon has got me a great deal I never noticed.
A good website I like to check from time to time is :
Just My Two Copper - Easy Tips on Making Wow Gold Blog
It has helped me a lot over the years, so full credit to Marko for that site !
Right, until my next guide that will be all for now. Thank you for downloading my guide and I hope you will make tonnes of gold and be able to buy whatever you want, whenever you want!
Peace out,
Kutty/Mortox.
Gold Guide by Mortox is licensed under a Creative Commons License.
You are free to copy, distribute, display, and perform the work at Twink Info - World of Warcraft Twinking
You are free to copy, distribute, display, and perform the work elsewhere under the following conditions:
You may not alter, transform, or build upon this work.
You may not use this work for commercial purposes.
You must attribute the work. Use the following link:
__________________________________________________________________________________
How to fake being a girl gamer. (Specially for a special someone <3)
__________________________________________________________________________________
Hello fellow greasy gamers!
As you probably already know, we male gamers are a pretty gullible lot. We'll fawn over any booty-tastic female game avatar that has even a chance of a real Jane behind it, giving her our "extra" crafting mats and helping her grind dailies "because we're bored."
Sure. Bored. They believe that one!
Well, I'm here to tell you that we can turn the desperate need for female attention our kind possesses into a powerful tool for gaming excellence! In just a few easy steps, you too can grind reputation with the core playerbase, earning such great rep rewards as:
1. Free loot!
- Need an upgrade that drops? That other rogue also wants it? No worries, he'll probably pass it to you and "grab the next one".
2. Leveling companions!
- Frustrated with an alt? Never fear, just pout a bit in guild chat and they'll tumble over each other to run you through Underbog!
3. Guaranteed raid spot!
- It doesn't even matter if your DPS is any good!
4. Free pass for most mistakes!
- Just be sure to use sad smilies.
"Wow!" you're saying, "Indy, you're a genius! Also handsome! How do I get started today, you sexy hunk of Killing Spree?"
THE RULES TO SUCCESS!
I. Never break character!
- Think of it like RPing, but not in that lame way they do on RP servers. Never, ever admit to anyone the truth! Never drop your disguise! If even one person believes you're really a dude, they'll tell everyone and you plan will be ruined. Never deny being male, just respond with a quick "Uh, whatever?"
II. Talk about yourself as little as possible!
- The best way to convince other players you’re a girl is to never state you're a girl. Never talk about things we think are "girl stuff". Because dudes, we're really bad at figuring out what "girl stuff" is supposed to be. What do girls do when not playing WoW? Pillow fights? Mud-wrestle? Hell, I don't know, and neither do you!
III. “Hehe” and other buzzwords!
- No four letters are as powerful in your arsenal as “hehe”. It’s very nature is feminine! Men don’t type that! Women may not type that either, but hey, we don’t know that for sure. We play the odds, man.
Words to avoid:
dude
heh
noob
pwn
chicks
pvp
lumberjack
Bruce Campbell
truck
cigar
Recount
IV. Never imply you’re a lesbian.
- We only think they all are. Red flag!
V. Your mic is always broken!
- Ventrilo is your nemesis. Your bane. It will destroy everything you’ve worked so hard to create! The delicate web of lies will be sundered the first time your cracking man-thoat utters so much as the first “learn2play”. That, and the constant grunting.
VI. Randomly make simple mistakes!
- Firstly: female gamers are not actually any worse at the game. But, the dudes dumb enough to fall for your act for some reason think they are. Feed their ego! Their monkey-brains will click into gear at your: “Oops, I had my pet on aggressive, hehe!”
VII. Flirt a little!
- Let’s face it, the whole reason this ruse works is, they’re hoping to impress you. Call them sweet, or add the foolproof “<3” to the end of sentences once in awhile. And try not to think too hard on whether or not they’re wearing any pants.
VIII. AVOID REAL FEMALE GAMERS AT ALL COSTS!
- They will know. They are your greatest enemy. Your only hope is to distance yourself like a bad high school clique, making snide whispers about their attitude for vague reasons! Remember, we don’t get the complex social intricacies of inter-female relationships to begin with. If you claim the sweet freckle-faced vegetarian homeless-shelter-volunteer is a snotty witch out to get you, hey, no one will question it.
I wish you the best of luck on your future of MMO gender deceit!
MEGAUPLOAD - The leading online storage and file delivery service
You can download it from Megauplaod, of if you reeealy dont like them send me a PM with your email and I will mail it to you if you want.
If you like the guide, please tell me !
HAPPY GOLD MAKING GUYS
It pains me to add this, but here is a TI version of it. Download it rather imo, Either way, Enjoy !
GOLD GUIDE, BY MORTOX
Gold, we all want it but it seems so hard to make, right ?
WRONG !
In this guide I will show you all of my own, personal tips and tricks that I have used to make hundreds of thousands of wow gold. I will cover all of the top tricks from the most basic known about tricks to some of the more secret ones. Gold sellers will probably hate my guts but whatever. It’s time people knew.
I will start from the beginning.
Allll righty then ! Let us begin.
Mining
The first thing to do if you have a low lvl character or perhaps an extremely poor main is get an alt that is lvl 5 +, and go mine yourself some Copper Ore ! This stuff sells from anywhere between 8-30g / stack on most servers and is always a great way to make some startup gold really fast as it’s a very lucrative market. Of course if you do have a main then all you need to do is like 5 dailies and you are set anyways
All old world ores are selling for amazing prices at the moment too. Mithril, Thorium and Truesilver are all at all time highs now. Time to make yourself a DK alt and get mining! While on the subject of Ores, have a look on your auction house what the prices of unsmelted ores are, MOST normal servers will have 1 -2 types of ores that cost about half as much as they do when smelted. All you need to do is spend 5 mins afk smelting 500 Mithril bars! : P
Pets
The next thing to look out for is pets! Those glorious little things that sell for amazing amounts of gold simply because they look cute! If you are feeling adventurous, try getting one of the little raptors that drop off ALL rare raptors as well as normal ones (rare though)
There are a number of rare raptors all around wow, depending on your server you should decide which ones to get!
Then we have all the alliance only/ horde only pets from the argent crusade which also sell decently well.
Limited Sale Recipies
Limited quantity recipes - WoWWiki - Your guide to the World of Warcraft
There are also a number of limited sale Weapons that look cool and therefore fetch a fair price at a vendor. While on Limited supply weapons, if you have Enchanting, one of the BEST and easiest ever methods of getting gold/ mats for your TBC enchants are The following two items from Halaa in Nagrand :
[item]Arkadian Claymore[/item] + [item]The Sharp Cookie[/item] For Horde
[item]Avenging Blades[/item] + [item]Halaani Claymore[/item] For Alliance.
The vendor will spawn only if your faction controls Halaa and it is therefore a little tricky on some servers but 200g every 30 mins is not to be looked down on !
Now, if you like grinding this next bit is for you ! There are a number of excellent things to grind if you have a 70 + character. The best things will be Primal Air, Primal Mana and also Eternal Fire (Storm Peaks - 77,63)
Enchanting Scrolls
Scrolls! Scrolls?! Scrolls?? Yep Scrolls. These beasts are every enchanter’s dream come true. Normally you can expect to make a 100 % profit AT LEAST on these scrolls, 1000% on Twink scrolls, even better if you farm them yourself.
Scroll markets you want to get into:
* + 30 SP (Enchant Weapon – Spellpower)
* Crusader (Enchant Weapon – Crusader)
* Fiery Weapon (Enchant Weapon – Fiery Weapon)
* 22 Intellect (Enchant weapon – Mighty Intellect)
* + 15 AGI (Enchant weapon – Agility)
* + 25 AGI (Enchant 2H Weapon – Agility)
* Mongoose (Enchant Weapon – Mongoose)
Those 7 scrolls have made me 10’s of thousands of gold each month by themselves. Your best bet is to either make very good friends with an enchanter that can do them, or get yourself an enchanter for max profit. Most are not hard at all to farm. Omigod this is SUCH easy gold lol. Most scrolls cost me either nothing or less than 80g to make if I am too lazy to get the mats myself. Some of them cost me around 40g to make but because they are so rare they sell regularly for 550g +. Never put more than 3 scrolls at a time up on the Ah, and also if you can get a corner on their market. Try posting them with 2-3 different alts and people will assume that the price posted is the normal price. It works, trust me.
Strathlome
Ah yeah, good old Strathy’. This place is literally a GOLD MINE For enchanters and farmers alike. A typical run here will easily net me at least 500- 1000g worth of Enchanting mats. Yep, 1k for a 10 min run. Tonnes of greens, blues and even a cool mount could be yours! This place is farmable at 70 + easily, and at 80 any class can solo it with ease.
Gems
Mmmmm, Jewelcrafting. JC is probably one of the most profitable profession of any of them apart from Inscription (which I will cover in a bit).
Your best sellers as a JC will obviously be the Epic gems, there used to be a method that involved prospecting ores, but it’s no longer viable with the low prices of Dusts nowdays.
Here is what I used to do : Crafting for DE
There are several items you can craft for DE profit. In order to determine what will work on your server you would need to compare the total cost of the item to craft and see if it falls in your acceptable DE value (for more information look at Enchanting)
The main items I use for DE purposes:
Azure Moonstone Ring
Fel Iron Blood Ring
Golden Draenite Ring
Bloodstone Band
Sun Rock Ring
Crystal Citrine Necklace
Crystal Chalcedony Amulet
Stoneguard Band or Shadowmight Ring
You can still make buckets of gold with JC though, and one of the best ways possible is probably sitting in Dalaran and selling cuts for a tip.
Cloth
There are three kinds of cloth that it is profitable to farm or to look out for on the AH for various reasons. The first( and best) is Netherweave Cloth. If you see it at less than 3g a stack, buy it and make Heavy Netherweave bandages. OR If you are a tailor or know one , buy a stack of cloth and make Netherweave bags. These are normally a 200 % markup at least. Cloth costs ~4g/stack and bags sell for 9-12g each. Easy gold to be made here.
Wool Cloth seems to be a very good seller recently and prices for it reflect this. Same with Linen Cloth. Run Deadmines/ Stockades a few times and enjoy making easy gold.
In-Game Events
In game events have excellent gold making opportunities all the time. The most profitable ones are the Darkmoon Faire as well as the X-mas holidays. Darkmoon Faire vendors sell limited amounts of herbs, eternals and all sorts of other goodies, including pets.
A small tip now is to stock up on Small Eggs so long in anticipation of the Easter event. They were going for 3g EACH last year on both of my servers, and can be farmed with a lvl 10 quite easily. I will leave it up to you to find the best egg farming spots though
[item]Small Egg[/item] . Primordial Saronite
Primordial Saronites sell for around 2-2.5k on most servers and only require 30 mins a day for a couple of days to get it. They sell like hotcakes. Excellent form of gold making for anyone with a lvl 80. Don’t forget the weekly raid which gives 5 of these as well as 5 badges too.
Inscription
Last but FAR from least is the mighty Inscription. I was originally not going to include this as it is by far my main/second best way of making gold. But I did promise you guys infinite gold and here it comes.
First thing to do is to lvl your inscription to 400 + at least. You can sell Scrolls, Glyphs and will actually end up doubling the gold it took you to power lvl it. At least I did on the 4 times I have levelled inscription. Stick to Armour/ Weapon Vellums and you can’t go wrong. Even selling these things ALONE will net you an impressive profit. But that pales in comparison to what is to come.
So let’s get into it then. You will need to buy as much Adder’s Tongue/Icethorn as you can afford to without making the price rise by buying out all the cheap stuff. Next step is simple, Mill it all. Make a /use Adder’s Tongue /cast Milling macro (just change Adder’s Tongue to Icethorn for Icethorn). It’s a lot easier to spam that macro than click them individually
So now you have a crapload of Azure Pigment and hopefully a good number of Icy Pigments. You can either sell the Icy pigments for a good price (99.9 % of the time a SINGLE Icy Pigment pays for the herb stack and half of the next one, lol.) Now, you can be safe and make a whole load of Icy Pigments and sell them on the AH. OR you can take a risk. Also, the Azure Pigment sells for 2-5g EACH, You can make them into Ink of the Sea which sells on average for twice to three times as much as the herbs do. And when herb stacks cost 11-20g you can see how easy it is to make gold here.
But this is child’s play. This is the safe option. There is another way to make MASSIVE amounts of gold with a little luck and twice as much perseverance. Here’s how to do it:
Turn your Pigments into Ink of the Sea. Then turn your Icy Pigments into Snowfall Ink. Next buy out all the Eternal Life you can afford to. Then you Cross your fingers and make some Darkmoon Card of the North.
(Darkmoon Card of the North ). If you are lucky you will make a couple of Nobles cards. These are your best sellers with some individual cards going for well over 1k EACH and decks going for 4-8k depending on the server. Using this method will NOT always bring you a Noble’s card, however when you make 1 or 2 cards out of 10 you have covered costs AND still come out with a profit.
I make on average 5k every half hour with this method, while I am watching a movie/Tv or talking on IRC. Just stand there spamming your macro and making the inks etc. I love this method
Another great seller are the Books you can make with Inscription, namely :
Faces of Doom
Iron Bound Tome
Those two sell for 4-500g a piece on most servers and cost around 20-60g to make. More profit.
Lastly I will leave you with some useful addons that you should download :
Auctioneer: properly set up this is your best friend on the auction house.
Snatch: Instantly alerts/buys out auctions that you tell it to. Things like Shadowfangs etc that are far below normal price etc. Many, many times this awesome little addon has got me a great deal I never noticed.
A good website I like to check from time to time is :
Just My Two Copper - Easy Tips on Making Wow Gold Blog
It has helped me a lot over the years, so full credit to Marko for that site !
Right, until my next guide that will be all for now. Thank you for downloading my guide and I hope you will make tonnes of gold and be able to buy whatever you want, whenever you want!
Peace out,
Kutty/Mortox.
Gold Guide by Mortox is licensed under a Creative Commons License.
You are free to copy, distribute, display, and perform the work at Twink Info - World of Warcraft Twinking
You are free to copy, distribute, display, and perform the work elsewhere under the following conditions:
You may not alter, transform, or build upon this work.
You may not use this work for commercial purposes.
You must attribute the work. Use the following link:
__________________________________________________________________________________
How to fake being a girl gamer. (Specially for a special someone <3)
__________________________________________________________________________________
Hello fellow greasy gamers!
As you probably already know, we male gamers are a pretty gullible lot. We'll fawn over any booty-tastic female game avatar that has even a chance of a real Jane behind it, giving her our "extra" crafting mats and helping her grind dailies "because we're bored."
Sure. Bored. They believe that one!
Well, I'm here to tell you that we can turn the desperate need for female attention our kind possesses into a powerful tool for gaming excellence! In just a few easy steps, you too can grind reputation with the core playerbase, earning such great rep rewards as:
1. Free loot!
- Need an upgrade that drops? That other rogue also wants it? No worries, he'll probably pass it to you and "grab the next one".
2. Leveling companions!
- Frustrated with an alt? Never fear, just pout a bit in guild chat and they'll tumble over each other to run you through Underbog!
3. Guaranteed raid spot!
- It doesn't even matter if your DPS is any good!
4. Free pass for most mistakes!
- Just be sure to use sad smilies.
"Wow!" you're saying, "Indy, you're a genius! Also handsome! How do I get started today, you sexy hunk of Killing Spree?"
THE RULES TO SUCCESS!
I. Never break character!
- Think of it like RPing, but not in that lame way they do on RP servers. Never, ever admit to anyone the truth! Never drop your disguise! If even one person believes you're really a dude, they'll tell everyone and you plan will be ruined. Never deny being male, just respond with a quick "Uh, whatever?"
II. Talk about yourself as little as possible!
- The best way to convince other players you’re a girl is to never state you're a girl. Never talk about things we think are "girl stuff". Because dudes, we're really bad at figuring out what "girl stuff" is supposed to be. What do girls do when not playing WoW? Pillow fights? Mud-wrestle? Hell, I don't know, and neither do you!
III. “Hehe” and other buzzwords!
- No four letters are as powerful in your arsenal as “hehe”. It’s very nature is feminine! Men don’t type that! Women may not type that either, but hey, we don’t know that for sure. We play the odds, man.
Words to avoid:
dude
heh
noob
pwn
chicks
pvp
lumberjack
Bruce Campbell
truck
cigar
Recount
IV. Never imply you’re a lesbian.
- We only think they all are. Red flag!
V. Your mic is always broken!
- Ventrilo is your nemesis. Your bane. It will destroy everything you’ve worked so hard to create! The delicate web of lies will be sundered the first time your cracking man-thoat utters so much as the first “learn2play”. That, and the constant grunting.
VI. Randomly make simple mistakes!
- Firstly: female gamers are not actually any worse at the game. But, the dudes dumb enough to fall for your act for some reason think they are. Feed their ego! Their monkey-brains will click into gear at your: “Oops, I had my pet on aggressive, hehe!”
VII. Flirt a little!
- Let’s face it, the whole reason this ruse works is, they’re hoping to impress you. Call them sweet, or add the foolproof “<3” to the end of sentences once in awhile. And try not to think too hard on whether or not they’re wearing any pants.
VIII. AVOID REAL FEMALE GAMERS AT ALL COSTS!
- They will know. They are your greatest enemy. Your only hope is to distance yourself like a bad high school clique, making snide whispers about their attitude for vague reasons! Remember, we don’t get the complex social intricacies of inter-female relationships to begin with. If you claim the sweet freckle-faced vegetarian homeless-shelter-volunteer is a snotty witch out to get you, hey, no one will question it.
I wish you the best of luck on your future of MMO gender deceit!
