Joke thread

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I'll start off :p



An American, a Britt and a Polack all were caught during the war and put into a camp for prisoners surrounded by a large wall.



One evening, the American decides to plot an escape and includes the Britt and the Polack. He tells them that there is a tree near the wall they can climb up and use to escape, but they have to be quiet because there is a guard post nearby.



After agreeing with the American's plan, the American decides to go 1st and show them how to do it. When nightfall comes the American waits for the right moment and sprints to the tree and quietly climbs it. Unfortunately, the guard heard rustling noises and shouts, "Who goes there!?" The American, cool as a cucumber responds with a sound "tweet, tweet, tweet." The guard believes it's just a stupid bird so goes back to his business.



Seeing this, the Britt decides to go next. At the 1st moment he gets, the Britt attempts it and climbs the tree, but again the guard hears something and shouts, "Who goes there!?" The Britt hesitates for a second, but responds with a sound, "Who, Who!" The guard believes it's just a stupid owl now and goes back to his business.



It's the Polack's turn now and he is extremely nervous but decides to try it. While climbing the tree he makes some noise. The guard again shouts, "Who goes there!?"

Now the Polack is extremely scared and nervous and takes a deep breathe and replies..."Mooooooo!"
 
jokes that take more 3 seconds to say are autobad. I have thousands of jokes but their all racist or offensive except for two, and they take time to say, therefor their autobad.
 
So a man with a wood eye walks into a bar and sees a girl with a sideways mouth. He feels bad so he asks her to dance. She says "Would i!"

"Vagina Face"
 
McBankington said:
jokes that take more 3 seconds to say are autobad. I have thousands of jokes but their all racist or offensive except for two, and they take time to say, therefor their autobad.



not my fault u have ADD
 
McBankington said:
What does attention deficit disorder have to do with long jokes not breaking to the punch?



lol. srsly? it has everything to do with it.
 
McBankington said:
What does attention deficit disorder have to do with long jokes not breaking to the punch?



Because you can't bear tension buildup and resolution, which is a key factor in jokes.
 
Hamcake said:
Because you can't bear tension buildup and resolution, which is a key factor in jokes.



Hamcake got any jokes?...about..waffles?
 
Lol. Atleast it's not as bad as my OCD. I chip paint and i have to sharpen my own pencils with a knife, and i cant stand string or uneven hoodie ties
 
Have you ever heard of a Jew Mobile? It stops on a dime! And picks it up.



What is the hardest decission a jew will ever have to make? Half priced pork.
 
How do you fit 300 jews into a car? 2 in the front 3 int he back, the rest in the ashtray.

What runs along walls and kills bad guys? Gas pipes.(I forgot what their called)

All the jew jokes I have but I could go on about blacks for about an hour.
 
Why do blacks have white hands?

Because everyone has SOME good in them!



Why are black people getting stronger?

Because TV's are getting heavier!



What do you call a black woman getting an abortion?

Crime Stoppers!
 
How do u start a mexican parade?

roll a penny down the street.



Why dont mexicans have barbecues?

cause the beans fall the through the grill



How do u get a 1 armed polock out of a tree?

wave



how do u kill a blonde?

put a scratch and sniff on the bottom of a pool



How do stop a black guy from jumping on ur bed?

put Velcro on the ceiling

How do u get him down?

tell some mexicans its a pinata

How do u clean up the mess?

tell some Asians theres been a dog fight



What do u call 20 blondes standing ear to ear?

a wind tunnel
 
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