Jadyne
39 Evangelist
Yes, you will always have issue with players who have zero investment in anything they're doing in the game. If you're sure someone is like that, don't waste your time on them. But there's still a lot of other players out there. Be on the look out for opportunities.
Some tips I've picked up over the last 9 years:
- Avoid most negative arguments in bg chat. You defend your rep through action, not through words. If you're good, you know it, and people will see it. If someone's calling you bad or not worth listening to, take as little time and words as possible to tell them no, be amused if they get stupid or annoying about it, then go back to sending out tips.
- Positive > Negative in almost all things. Be brief about what not to do, but be less brief about what TO do. Don't get angry, people are less likely to listen to someone they see as "emotional", and that's what anger looks like. Give positive feedback as often as you can as long as it's warranted. Morale has an effect on concentration, as does belief in one's abilities.
- Be specific, and focus on observations. i.e. "i saw this; could you do that instead? Here's why." Don't label people - or things - as bad or good. Focus on outcomes; "bad" and "good" are opinions that are nebulous and often situational. e.g. "that gear is very effective when you're FCing or dueling, but if you had a healer backing you up, switch to more dps-heavy gear so you can protect them better by killing faster."
- You are a role model. That means that you shouldn't act like you're special. If you ever find yourself saying or thinking "do as I say, not as I do", you better have a damn good reason for it, or people will stop trusting you enough to listen.
- Talk and think of "skill" as something that changes. We often call people "noobs" or "scrubs", and another problem with those labels is that they imply that they can't change. The only time I talk about "noobs" is in this sort of an abstract setting, or when I'm reminding my guildies that we all start as noobs, and improve from there. I also push the concept that improving my skill is the most enjoyable part of the game.
- Remind yourself every time, and remind everyone else every time you lose that "losses are important, because they show us how we can get better."
And finally the hardest thing to do:
-Internalize all of the above, and then seize every opportunity to make use of them. This means keep telling yourselves these things, until you really truly believe them. At that point people will sense your authenticity and at times will be drawn to it. I am dead serious. I have seen this happen to myself on a large scale twice now within WoW comunities. I didn't understand it the first time, until I witnessed my boss doing it at an amazing restaurant I worked at during my break from WoW. Most of you won't believe me, but the few who are curious, if you can really internalize the attitude behind the above tips I listed, not only will you improve people around you, but you will increase your own enjoyment of the game.
There are probably a few other things, but this enough basics to get most people started I think. Thank you for starting this thread, Kincaide. This is the sort of discussion that should have been dominating these forums since TI was started. If it had, the twink community might be a little different today, rather than it's current mess.
Some tips I've picked up over the last 9 years:
- Avoid most negative arguments in bg chat. You defend your rep through action, not through words. If you're good, you know it, and people will see it. If someone's calling you bad or not worth listening to, take as little time and words as possible to tell them no, be amused if they get stupid or annoying about it, then go back to sending out tips.
- Positive > Negative in almost all things. Be brief about what not to do, but be less brief about what TO do. Don't get angry, people are less likely to listen to someone they see as "emotional", and that's what anger looks like. Give positive feedback as often as you can as long as it's warranted. Morale has an effect on concentration, as does belief in one's abilities.
- Be specific, and focus on observations. i.e. "i saw this; could you do that instead? Here's why." Don't label people - or things - as bad or good. Focus on outcomes; "bad" and "good" are opinions that are nebulous and often situational. e.g. "that gear is very effective when you're FCing or dueling, but if you had a healer backing you up, switch to more dps-heavy gear so you can protect them better by killing faster."
- You are a role model. That means that you shouldn't act like you're special. If you ever find yourself saying or thinking "do as I say, not as I do", you better have a damn good reason for it, or people will stop trusting you enough to listen.
- Talk and think of "skill" as something that changes. We often call people "noobs" or "scrubs", and another problem with those labels is that they imply that they can't change. The only time I talk about "noobs" is in this sort of an abstract setting, or when I'm reminding my guildies that we all start as noobs, and improve from there. I also push the concept that improving my skill is the most enjoyable part of the game.
- Remind yourself every time, and remind everyone else every time you lose that "losses are important, because they show us how we can get better."
And finally the hardest thing to do:
-Internalize all of the above, and then seize every opportunity to make use of them. This means keep telling yourselves these things, until you really truly believe them. At that point people will sense your authenticity and at times will be drawn to it. I am dead serious. I have seen this happen to myself on a large scale twice now within WoW comunities. I didn't understand it the first time, until I witnessed my boss doing it at an amazing restaurant I worked at during my break from WoW. Most of you won't believe me, but the few who are curious, if you can really internalize the attitude behind the above tips I listed, not only will you improve people around you, but you will increase your own enjoyment of the game.
There are probably a few other things, but this enough basics to get most people started I think. Thank you for starting this thread, Kincaide. This is the sort of discussion that should have been dominating these forums since TI was started. If it had, the twink community might be a little different today, rather than it's current mess.
