Realek Tarantino
Legend
So I have seen a lot of my friends post some depressing ass "I wanna slash my wrists" type shit. So after being asked a few times to share my story, and with me going to speak at Sacred Heart, I figured I would, fuck it. Hopefully yall can glean something from this.
The year is 2000 and fuckin 6, June to be exact, my homeboys Chad, Scott, and Shane rode together and watched me walk and get my diploma signifying my accomplishment of completing high-school. Proudest moment of my life. Fast forward a month later, a month, the 9th day of that other J month, July. That day a series of terrible events happened that ended up escalating a situation to where my best friend, my brother, my fam, ended up dying. They took his life . Chad messages me on MySpace and told me to turn the news on, it was 5am, I'll never forget this morning, and when my dad finally woke up for work he heard me crying
. No other day has or will impact my life like July 9th, 2006.
With Scott's death the whole clique spiraled out of control, between prison and addiction, we was all lost. Majority of us didn't know how to cope and turned to drugs and alcohol to self medicate and numb our pain. Oh how naive we were.
I ended up strung out, homeless, hungry, with a very low sense of self esteem and self worth. I was using drugs to numb pain and sadness when after a while my lifestyle and my way of living ended up making me even more depressed. I couldn't go without it and I hated being a slave to it and having to have it. I was hella depressed, I tried to off myself multiple times, I mean 20 blue footballs and a half gram should've been all she wrote. Nevertheless it wasn't, I didn't achieve what I set out to do that day nor other days similar to that one. Mind you I alienated myself from what loved ones and friends that still fucked with me because it pained me to know that they're seeing me how I was. The whole 14 years of my insanity, it weighed heavily on my heart each and every single day. So thats even more shit I'm sad and fucked up over; me knowing I'm better than that, me feeling trapped, helpless, and enslaved. At the time I could give two fucks about living and never expected to make it to see 30. I'm so out there riding dolo doing my own thing that the only way people knew I was alive was when they messaged me on Facebook every 6 months or so. Yall know who you are, I appreciate you.
Anyways finally I got sick and tired of being sick and tired. I knew and was told multiple times even while strung out I was more solid than majority of the people out here. I was raised right goddammit and I knew better and I knew I was better than that at the time. So I decided to change the beat I was marching to and aint looked back since.
My goal originally was to have all my shit taken care of by March 28th, my 1 year sober. I wanted to go from homeless (for 10 years btw) living in cars, tents, abandoned houses, and under bridges, stealing food from stores because I'm starving hungry to having all my own shit. My own car, home, money, legal shit taken care of, and my fuckin grill fixed. A complete straight out the mud type shit. I got 3 vehicles, money, a good job, legal shit almost done, and grill almost fixed. Im doing it yall, because I decided to.
So if you ain't happy with what you got going on in life, then address the issue. Positivity brings Positivity. Try it.
You control your life, nobody else.
I hope this does something for yall, and if it resonates enough with one person that they snap back to reality after reading this, then that's good enough for me. Mission accomplished.
Lifes a beach, lay on it.
Have a blessed day and know that since you're able to wake up and see this day, that that's a blessing in itself.
We out here dog, living our best life after living our worst. Rip Scott, Rip Pops, and Rip every other lost soul that wasn't strong enough to overcome the adversity like I (we) did.
And one last thing, if you got me on your friends list and you're sad and down and out I'll pep talk anyone of you motherfuckers, just hmu and see if I dont.
The year is 2000 and fuckin 6, June to be exact, my homeboys Chad, Scott, and Shane rode together and watched me walk and get my diploma signifying my accomplishment of completing high-school. Proudest moment of my life. Fast forward a month later, a month, the 9th day of that other J month, July. That day a series of terrible events happened that ended up escalating a situation to where my best friend, my brother, my fam, ended up dying. They took his life . Chad messages me on MySpace and told me to turn the news on, it was 5am, I'll never forget this morning, and when my dad finally woke up for work he heard me crying
With Scott's death the whole clique spiraled out of control, between prison and addiction, we was all lost. Majority of us didn't know how to cope and turned to drugs and alcohol to self medicate and numb our pain. Oh how naive we were.
I ended up strung out, homeless, hungry, with a very low sense of self esteem and self worth. I was using drugs to numb pain and sadness when after a while my lifestyle and my way of living ended up making me even more depressed. I couldn't go without it and I hated being a slave to it and having to have it. I was hella depressed, I tried to off myself multiple times, I mean 20 blue footballs and a half gram should've been all she wrote. Nevertheless it wasn't, I didn't achieve what I set out to do that day nor other days similar to that one. Mind you I alienated myself from what loved ones and friends that still fucked with me because it pained me to know that they're seeing me how I was. The whole 14 years of my insanity, it weighed heavily on my heart each and every single day. So thats even more shit I'm sad and fucked up over; me knowing I'm better than that, me feeling trapped, helpless, and enslaved. At the time I could give two fucks about living and never expected to make it to see 30. I'm so out there riding dolo doing my own thing that the only way people knew I was alive was when they messaged me on Facebook every 6 months or so. Yall know who you are, I appreciate you.
Anyways finally I got sick and tired of being sick and tired. I knew and was told multiple times even while strung out I was more solid than majority of the people out here. I was raised right goddammit and I knew better and I knew I was better than that at the time. So I decided to change the beat I was marching to and aint looked back since.
My goal originally was to have all my shit taken care of by March 28th, my 1 year sober. I wanted to go from homeless (for 10 years btw) living in cars, tents, abandoned houses, and under bridges, stealing food from stores because I'm starving hungry to having all my own shit. My own car, home, money, legal shit taken care of, and my fuckin grill fixed. A complete straight out the mud type shit. I got 3 vehicles, money, a good job, legal shit almost done, and grill almost fixed. Im doing it yall, because I decided to.
So if you ain't happy with what you got going on in life, then address the issue. Positivity brings Positivity. Try it.
You control your life, nobody else.
I hope this does something for yall, and if it resonates enough with one person that they snap back to reality after reading this, then that's good enough for me. Mission accomplished.
Lifes a beach, lay on it.
Have a blessed day and know that since you're able to wake up and see this day, that that's a blessing in itself.
We out here dog, living our best life after living our worst. Rip Scott, Rip Pops, and Rip every other lost soul that wasn't strong enough to overcome the adversity like I (we) did.
And one last thing, if you got me on your friends list and you're sad and down and out I'll pep talk anyone of you motherfuckers, just hmu and see if I dont.
