Eurys
OG
starts good, turns lolweird, ends epic.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: Hi
You: hello
You: male/female?
Stranger: female
You: cool
Stranger: you?
You: Male
You: why?
Stranger: Why what?
You: why the fuck are you so curious about my gender?
Stranger: wow go to hell then...
You: Hey wait a minute
Stranger: yes?
You: look I'm sorry. I'm just a little paranoid
Stranger: paranoid?
You: yes
Stranger: of what?
Stranger: me?
You: No. I'm in hiding.
Stranger: LOL
You: Don't fucking laugh at me!
You: This shit is serious!
Stranger: What are you hiding from?
You: The cops.
Stranger: gimme a fucking break
You: I'm serious.
Stranger: I don't get it
You: The cops are after me.
Stranger: For what?
You: I'm wanted in three states
Stranger: For???
You: It's kind of embarrasing.
You: I had sex with a turkey.
You: Hello?
Stranger: You are fucking sick.
You: Send me your picture.
Stranger: why?
You: so I know you aren't one of them.
Stranger: One of what?
You: The cops.
Stranger: I'm not a cop i told you
You: Then send me your picture.
Stranger: hold on
You: Hurry up.
You: Are you there?
You: fuck you, cop!
Stranger: Hey sorry
Stranger: I had to do something for my mom.
You: I thought you were trying to find a picture to send to me.
You: When really you were notifying the authorities.
You: Weren't you!?
Stranger: thats not it
You: Then what?
Stranger: I don't want to send you the picture cause I'm not pretty
You: Most cops aren't
Stranger: IM NOT A FUCKING COP YOU DICKHEAD!
You: Then send me the picture.
Stranger: fine. What's your e-mail?
You: Do you have myspace? Mine is ************
You: email is *********
Stranger: alright
Stranger: Did you get it?
You: Hold on. I'm looking.
Stranger: That was me back in may
Stranger: I've lost weight since then.
You: I hope so
Stranger: what?!?
Stranger: that hurt my feelings.
You: Did it?
Stranger: Yes. I'm not that much smaller than that now.
You: Will it make you feel better if I send you my picture?
Stranger: yes
You: Alright let me find it.
Stranger: kks
You: Okay, sent.
Stranger: this isn't you.
You: I'll be damned if it ain't!
Stranger: You don't look like that.
You: How the hell do you know?
Stranger: cause your profile has another picture.
You: The profile pic is a fake.
You: I use it to hide from the cops.
Stranger: You look like the Farm Fresh guy lol
You: Well, you look like you ATE the Farm Fresh guy....
You: Not to mention all the groceries.
Stranger: Go fuck yourself
You: I was going to until I saw that picture
You: Now my dick won't get hard for a week.
Stranger: I shouldn't have sent you that picture.
Stranger: You've done nothing but slam me.
Stranger: you hurt me.
You: And calling me the Farm Fresh guy doesn't hurt me?
Stranger: I thought you were bullshitting me!
You: Why would I do that?
Stranger: I can't believe that cops are after you
You: I can't believe Santa lets you sit on his lap..
Stranger: FUC YOU!!!
You: You'd break both of his legs.
Stranger: You're a fucking ass.
Stranger: I've been teased my whole life because of my weight
Stranger: and you make fun of me when you don't even know me
You: Ok. I'm sorry.
Stranger: No you aren't
You: You're right. I'm not.
You: AARRRRR!
Stranger: I'm done with you
You: Aww. I'm sorry.
Stranger: I'm disconnecting
You: Wait a sec
You: We got off on the wrong foot.
You: Wanna start over?
Stranger: No
You: I'll eat your vag
Stranger: You'll what?
You: You heard me.
You: I said I'd eat your vag.
Stranger: I thought you said you couldn't get it hard after seeing my picture
You: Do I need a hard-on to eat your vag?
Stranger: I'd like to know that the man eating me out is excited yes
You: Well I'm not like most men.
You: I get excited in different ways.
Stranger: Like what?
You: Do you really wanna know?
Stranger: I don't know
You: You have to tell me yes or no.
Stranger: I'm afraid to
You: Why?
Stranger: cause
You: cause why?
Stranger: well lets see
Stranger: you say you have sex with turkeys. You call me fat. then you wanna eat me out
Stranger: doesn't that seem strange to you?
You: Nope
Stranger: well its strange to me
You: Fine. I won't do it if you don't want me to
Stranger: I didn't say that
You: So is that a yes?
Stranger: I guess so.
You: Ok. I need your help getting excited though.
You: Are you willing?
Stranger: What do you need me to do?
You: I need you talk like a pirate.
Stranger: ???
You: When I start to go limp... you say "ARRRR!!!"
You: ok?
You: Hello?
Stranger: You can't be serious
You: Oh yes I am!
You: It's my fantasy.
Stranger: this is retarded
You: Do you want it or not?
Stranger: Yes I want it.
You: Then you'll do it for me?
Stranger: sure
You: Ok. Here we go.
You: I gently remove your panties and being to massage your thighs.
You: You get really juicy thinking about my tounge brushing up against
them
You: I run my tounge up and down your smooth skin.
Stranger: mmmm yeah
You: uh oh ...going limp.
Stranger: arrr
You: You gotta do better than that!
You: Your picture was really bad.
Stranger: ARRRRRRRRRRRR
You: Ahhhh. Much better. I feel you get more moist with every
stroke.
You: I begin to feel empowered by your femininity.
Stranger: mmmmmm you are good
You: I feel your thighs tighten as I suck harder
You: going limp
Stranger: ARRRRRRR
You: Mmmm I grab your swelling buttocks in my hands.
You: You begin to sway back and forth.
You: going limp
Stranger: this is stupid
You: ...still limp
You: Do it!
Stranger: ARRRRRRRRRRRRR
You: I turn you around to lick your ass.
You: I pry apart that battleship you call your ass.
You: I see turd nuggets hanging from the hair around your ass.
Stranger: WTF?!?!?
You: They stink really bad.
Stranger: OMG STOP!!!
You: I start to get fed up with your ugly ass
You: I tear off your wooden peg leg.
You: I ram it up your ass.
Stranger: YOURE A FUCKING PYSCHO!!
You: Then I pour hot carmel over your head.
You: And turn you into a fucking candy apple...
You: I kick you in the face!
Stranger: FUCK YOU!!
You: The celluloid from your cheeks hits the side of the cabin...
You: Your parrot flys away.
You: ...going limp again.
You: Hello?
You: Say it!
You: AARRRRRR!!!!!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: Hi
You: hello
You: male/female?
Stranger: female
You: cool
Stranger: you?
You: Male
You: why?
Stranger: Why what?
You: why the fuck are you so curious about my gender?
Stranger: wow go to hell then...
You: Hey wait a minute
Stranger: yes?
You: look I'm sorry. I'm just a little paranoid
Stranger: paranoid?
You: yes
Stranger: of what?
Stranger: me?
You: No. I'm in hiding.
Stranger: LOL
You: Don't fucking laugh at me!
You: This shit is serious!
Stranger: What are you hiding from?
You: The cops.
Stranger: gimme a fucking break
You: I'm serious.
Stranger: I don't get it
You: The cops are after me.
Stranger: For what?
You: I'm wanted in three states
Stranger: For???
You: It's kind of embarrasing.
You: I had sex with a turkey.
You: Hello?
Stranger: You are fucking sick.
You: Send me your picture.
Stranger: why?
You: so I know you aren't one of them.
Stranger: One of what?
You: The cops.
Stranger: I'm not a cop i told you
You: Then send me your picture.
Stranger: hold on
You: Hurry up.
You: Are you there?
You: fuck you, cop!
Stranger: Hey sorry
Stranger: I had to do something for my mom.
You: I thought you were trying to find a picture to send to me.
You: When really you were notifying the authorities.
You: Weren't you!?
Stranger: thats not it
You: Then what?
Stranger: I don't want to send you the picture cause I'm not pretty
You: Most cops aren't
Stranger: IM NOT A FUCKING COP YOU DICKHEAD!
You: Then send me the picture.
Stranger: fine. What's your e-mail?
You: Do you have myspace? Mine is ************
You: email is *********
Stranger: alright
Stranger: Did you get it?
You: Hold on. I'm looking.
Stranger: That was me back in may
Stranger: I've lost weight since then.
You: I hope so
Stranger: what?!?
Stranger: that hurt my feelings.
You: Did it?
Stranger: Yes. I'm not that much smaller than that now.
You: Will it make you feel better if I send you my picture?
Stranger: yes
You: Alright let me find it.
Stranger: kks
You: Okay, sent.
Stranger: this isn't you.
You: I'll be damned if it ain't!
Stranger: You don't look like that.
You: How the hell do you know?
Stranger: cause your profile has another picture.
You: The profile pic is a fake.
You: I use it to hide from the cops.
Stranger: You look like the Farm Fresh guy lol
You: Well, you look like you ATE the Farm Fresh guy....
You: Not to mention all the groceries.
Stranger: Go fuck yourself
You: I was going to until I saw that picture
You: Now my dick won't get hard for a week.
Stranger: I shouldn't have sent you that picture.
Stranger: You've done nothing but slam me.
Stranger: you hurt me.
You: And calling me the Farm Fresh guy doesn't hurt me?
Stranger: I thought you were bullshitting me!
You: Why would I do that?
Stranger: I can't believe that cops are after you
You: I can't believe Santa lets you sit on his lap..
Stranger: FUC YOU!!!
You: You'd break both of his legs.
Stranger: You're a fucking ass.
Stranger: I've been teased my whole life because of my weight
Stranger: and you make fun of me when you don't even know me
You: Ok. I'm sorry.
Stranger: No you aren't
You: You're right. I'm not.
You: AARRRRR!
Stranger: I'm done with you
You: Aww. I'm sorry.
Stranger: I'm disconnecting
You: Wait a sec
You: We got off on the wrong foot.
You: Wanna start over?
Stranger: No
You: I'll eat your vag
Stranger: You'll what?
You: You heard me.
You: I said I'd eat your vag.
Stranger: I thought you said you couldn't get it hard after seeing my picture
You: Do I need a hard-on to eat your vag?
Stranger: I'd like to know that the man eating me out is excited yes
You: Well I'm not like most men.
You: I get excited in different ways.
Stranger: Like what?
You: Do you really wanna know?
Stranger: I don't know
You: You have to tell me yes or no.
Stranger: I'm afraid to
You: Why?
Stranger: cause
You: cause why?
Stranger: well lets see
Stranger: you say you have sex with turkeys. You call me fat. then you wanna eat me out
Stranger: doesn't that seem strange to you?
You: Nope
Stranger: well its strange to me
You: Fine. I won't do it if you don't want me to
Stranger: I didn't say that
You: So is that a yes?
Stranger: I guess so.
You: Ok. I need your help getting excited though.
You: Are you willing?
Stranger: What do you need me to do?
You: I need you talk like a pirate.
Stranger: ???
You: When I start to go limp... you say "ARRRR!!!"
You: ok?
You: Hello?
Stranger: You can't be serious
You: Oh yes I am!
You: It's my fantasy.
Stranger: this is retarded
You: Do you want it or not?
Stranger: Yes I want it.
You: Then you'll do it for me?
Stranger: sure
You: Ok. Here we go.
You: I gently remove your panties and being to massage your thighs.
You: You get really juicy thinking about my tounge brushing up against
them
You: I run my tounge up and down your smooth skin.
Stranger: mmmm yeah
You: uh oh ...going limp.
Stranger: arrr
You: You gotta do better than that!
You: Your picture was really bad.
Stranger: ARRRRRRRRRRRR
You: Ahhhh. Much better. I feel you get more moist with every
stroke.
You: I begin to feel empowered by your femininity.
Stranger: mmmmmm you are good
You: I feel your thighs tighten as I suck harder
You: going limp
Stranger: ARRRRRRR
You: Mmmm I grab your swelling buttocks in my hands.
You: You begin to sway back and forth.
You: going limp
Stranger: this is stupid
You: ...still limp
You: Do it!
Stranger: ARRRRRRRRRRRRR
You: I turn you around to lick your ass.
You: I pry apart that battleship you call your ass.
You: I see turd nuggets hanging from the hair around your ass.
Stranger: WTF?!?!?
You: They stink really bad.
Stranger: OMG STOP!!!
You: I start to get fed up with your ugly ass
You: I tear off your wooden peg leg.
You: I ram it up your ass.
Stranger: YOURE A FUCKING PYSCHO!!
You: Then I pour hot carmel over your head.
You: And turn you into a fucking candy apple...
You: I kick you in the face!
Stranger: FUCK YOU!!
You: The celluloid from your cheeks hits the side of the cabin...
You: Your parrot flys away.
You: ...going limp again.
You: Hello?
You: Say it!
You: AARRRRRR!!!!!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
