I've also died multple times in a BG and stayed, and on other occasions left when I am in absolutely no danger of dying. What you're experiencing here is a fundamental attribution error. You're taking your tiny sample of your experiences with me in a BG, personalising it, and assigning meaning to things that have none based on your own experience and what you assume would be the reason you would do something in a similar situation. It's not a lie. You're an idiot. You have no idea why I do what I do.